Thursday, September 29, 2011

Surfing the wave

I think I can say that it's official. The tiny little tasks that I've referred to as the Chinese water torture parts of wedding planning have officially become a tsunami of need and the crest is rising higher and higher and I'm surfing that puppy as fast as I can to make sure I'm not under it when it crashes.  Yea, no pressure.

That said, this is exactly the time I wish I could be writing every day to talk about what's happening and what we're thinking and feeling so we could look back on it and remember all the little details.  But who has the time?  Kandi has been out shopping for one pair of shoes for the last 5 hours. I've been working to finalize some of the details for the wedding ceremony itself and I promised myself that I'd get a good start on the program details before I turned in for the night. 

This weekend our friends Mo and Felicia have put together a night of festivities for us to go out and celebrate.  We start with dueling pianos and we end with strippers. We're starting the morning at the church doing a run through with our pastor.  What a great beginning and ending to the day.  So, before all that happens I have to finalize the ceremony and I really, really, really want to have a good start for the program.  And of course it would be nice if I could get out the evites for our pre- and post- wedding events too...  Definitely pushing my task surfing skills - but it's possible.

So, I'm leaving you with a video.  We received a gift in the mail the other day, and we are so thankful.  For this particular gift though, Kandy was extra thankful, and I had to run to grab the video camera. 

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Feeling a little bridal

A bridal dress store can be a very intimidating thing.  Even a strong and centered woman who feels that she doesn't need to do anything just because "that's the way it is done" has to catch her breath for a moment when she sees this as she opens the door.

This is bridal.  This is how you should look.  We are giving you so many options that are versions of the same options and we hope that you won't notice how similar they all are.  Look - it's a colored sash - that is a completely different dress than the one that was all white.  And this dress - it has flowers on it.  The other dresses are totally different.  And this completely different but identical dress has lace.  That is completely unique.

It can be tough to wade through all the silk and taffeta and tulle to get through to the other side.  That other side is where you see it all and have to make a decision.  Is this me?  Is this what I want to see in pictures 30 years from now? 

I found one that worked for me, and it's been hanging largely at our neighbor Stephanie's house since that day.  (Kandi didn't know if she could hold back from peeking.)  Well, no longer.  It is now back where it came from at David's Bridal awaiting alterations. 

While being pinned I was next to a matron of honor also named Kristin.  She'd been married a few years ago and was now going to be in her friend's wedding.  She shared her wedding stories with me and tried to pass along a few good ideas.  It was nice having someone to chat with while standing there for so long.  My next visit is in just a few weeks, about a week after that - the big day! 

Kandi wasn't someone who walked into the bridal store and even flirted with the idea that what she wanted could be found on their racks. Kandi is working with a seamstress and 2 weeks ago she had her first meeting with her to review what could be called a Version 1.0.  As I wasn't there, I can't share much more than that.  Perhaps Kandi will tell more when she decides to finally do a post!  :) 

The outfits are getting ready.  Most of the RSVPs have been turned in, or typed in considering they are electronic!  So many of the details have been taken care of - and it's still a little scary how many are left!  I know they'll all get done eventually, but the sooner the better!  This week I have meetings with the florist, and someone for this hair which is not a meeting I look forward to as I still feel half clueless when it comes to that whole "What do you want" question!

That said - I guess it's time to go get to it.  Those email aren't going to write themselves!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

31 days and counting!

Tonight we had our pre-wedding photo session with our photographer Nicky with Mint.  She is fun and we are so looking forward to working with her!  We're even more excited to see the pictures from tonight's shoot.   I wore fake eyelashes that I put on myself.  And I hadn't tried any practice runs.  It was a bit scary but I didn't get anything stuck together that wasn't supposed to be there, so it all turned out ok.  I was able to get some good advice from my buddy David.  20-something years ago he taught me how to apply liquid eyeliner, and now he steps me through fake eyelashes.  THAT is a good friend to have!  :)

It almost feels that we have more things to do now than we did - but it's just because all the decisions really have to be made!  I go for my dress alterations tomorrow which means I have to make the commitment to the shoes that I purchased a few months ago.  This means that during the ceremony I will likely tower over Kandi, the heels are high, but she said she's ok with that for a few hours. 

We need to make the programs.  And while we plan on DIYing those, and have bought some of the materials we haven't finalized a few of the things that would be going into the program so of course that has to happen first! 

We need to finalize the layout of the reception space, but to do that we need to know how many tables we will need and for that everyone needs to RSVP (cough, hint, cough).  And we have to finalize the layout so we can make sure we get the right rentals which we need to get pretty quickly.  And of course, we need the RSVP's to get to the caterer - but everyone knows that, right?  (hint, rsvp, hint)

And then there are the decisions like hair and make up, undergarments (oh my!), transportation, accessories, song lists, and all the other tiny little details that go into making the big day awesome.  When exactly are we suppose to have time to do laundry?  Or get the house ready for all the out of town guest?

We know it will all work itself out somewhere, but my goodness it keeps us busy! 

Thursday, September 8, 2011

We're alright. No lie.

Today we got a letter in the mail.  It came in a cute envelope and I saw it was from my family out of state.  The next thing I noticed was that the stamp they used is one of the post office's official wedding stamps.  The one on the envelope is called Wedding Roses.  I thought - how sweet that they would reply to our invitation, even though we knew that they wouldn't be able to make it due to other family obligations - and they even used a wedding stamp!  I was excited to open it.

I agree that it is great to have close female friends.  I have several of those that match that description exactly.  Those friendships have maintained through things like distance, motherhood, drug treatment, unemployment, prison, and other issues that would test many of the strongest friendships - but ours have survived.  I value those strong friendships very much.  That is not what I have with Kandice.

Kandice and I do have a great friendship.  I believe that friendship is one of the important building blocks of a healthy long term relationship. But that is one aspect of our relationship.  When she makes me dinner she is not my cook and when I trim the trees in the front yard I am not her landscaper.  She is my partner.

A bit of a technicality now.  You were not invited to a marriage or a 'wedding'.  The invitation was to our Holy Union ceremony.  At our church.  Performed by our pastors.  Pastors ordained by the United Church of Christ.  Pastors who are actually pretty excited about it.  And we are pretty excited too.

I'm sorry you can't rejoice at our happiness.  While it makes me sad for you, it doesn't change my happiness.  As for a "lie that same-sex marriage is alright" - I'm not sure what you mean.  I don't believe I was lied to.

Same-sex marriage is not legally recognized by our state.  No one lied to me to say that it was.  Our Holy Union ceremony is between us, with the help and blessings of God, our family and friends.  No lie.

But if you really feel that a commitment to God isn't a enough for you - though it is for us - we can shows you our piece of paper with our signatures on it that was authorized by the state just like a wedding license.  It's our domestic partnership papers.  No lie. 

No one lied to say that same-sex marriage is alright.  When done properly - it's awesome.

And one day same-sex marriage won't be alright - it will be A right.

No lie.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Kandi loves shopping. Really.

We have been talking about how much we really needed to "fill out" our registry.  Not that we need a ton of things, but for those who are asking, we want to give them some good options.  

We are using which let's us link up the registries from all the stores into one place.  It also let's us scan items from our phone (but only if we are using wi-fi -so strange!) and let's us select any item online.  Kandi has loved using the phone scanner and the store scanners.  But today Kandi discovered the online option.  I wish I had a video camera on her at the moment she realized she could add anything from Home Depot to our registry with the click of a button.  

By the second click she was so excited that she decided we were leaving the house to go shopping.  Let me say that again.  Kandi proactively asked about going shopping, and was excited to do so.  And she high-five'd me.  Three times before we left the house.  

So now we are on our way to Bed Bath and Beyond and whatever other stores she finds along the way.  It may take a few weeks to fill it all out but I'm excited to say that we are on our way.  But not as excited as Kandi.