It's not over, but just begun!

How could we ever count all the blessings?

It was an amazing day.  It was overwhelming.  It was a blur.

We knew it would be so there were certain moments where we just squeezed each others hands and reminded ourselves that this was one of those moments we would want to remember forever.  And so far, we still do.

It's kind of crazy to think about all the work that was done, all the people that were involved and to see it all pass by.  There were things that went exactly as planned.  There were things that weren't quite as planned, but all worked out just fine.  And there were a few things that were lovely to the average observer, and yet were shockingly not what we had planned.  But in the end those things were completely unimportant.  In the last few days when we've talked all about the ceremony and the reception - no one talks about those things. They are just in the background.

There are so many memories.  And yet - we know how many things we missed.  So for the last few days we've been asking everyone for two things - their photos and their memories.  For the photos we have created an "album" on a site called zangzing.com which is specifically made for groups where a large number of people are all taking pictures at the same event.  Everyone can drop off their pictures, and if you see one you like that someone else took you can download it and have it as your own.  No need to pay for a thing or get a print.  Just download and it's yours.  Have some pictures and want to be a part of the party?

To view or post to the album, go to http://www.zangzing.com/ourfabadv/union

To email over your pictures, send them to union@ourfabadv.zangzing.com

And as for the stories - why don't you post some of them here?  We would love to see your comments with memories, stories and some of the fun details that we didn't get to see!

Over the next few days we'll post some of the things that YOU didn't get to be around for - background info, behind the scenes pics as well as the much requested meditation that Pastor Barb did during the ceremony.  But first - let's see those pictures and hear those stories!  We're all eyes and ears!

K&K

T-minus 31 hours

One day.

That's all that's left.  Just one day.

Where did all the time go?  What happened to all the vendors and planners we talked to who said "October of 2011?   Heck, you have plenty of time!"?  Where did the time go?

So, at 2pm today our coordinator Shelly is coming to pick up all the big stuff for the big day.  Really excited for that as right now there are so many piles and boxes it looks like we're moving out.  Almost every room that was cleaned, now looks half a wreck with half completed projects here and there.  And we have just less than 6 hours to complete most of them. 

But I had to take a moment and actually jump on here to chat about where we are in all of this. 

We will love each other forever but have mutually decided that writing vows sucks.  Too much pressure to say and do just the right thing. And trying to write vows while downloading music and working on seating charts and packing boxes is really not a good thing.

We love having friends and family around us, and we love how helpful they can be.  But sometimes as much as we'd love to talk about old times or answer more questions about how excited we are - we really just want to get stuff done.  And yes, it's awesome to be able to plan a few things where you step away from the madness and escape for a few.  But it's even better when a group of folks work together to get stuff done.  We had so much fun at our Wedding Craft-a-palooza and it will be on of our great pre-wedding memories.  (I wish I'd taken some pictures that I could actually share pre-wedding, but they are all day-of goodies so unless you were working on them - no sneak peaks!)  My personal lesson from this is that in the future I need to be better at volunteering to help others and not waiting to be asked. 

We have amazing friends and family. So many folks have stepped forward and done amazing things to help us.  We are so amazingly thankful.  And the pre-wedding gifts have been absolutely out of this world.  Writing about them is almost like having to write vows - so I'll put it off a bit longer...  

Planning a night of bowling the night before you are going to have many pictures taken of your hands was not good planning on our part. Lots of others aren't interested in breaking a nail before the big day either.  So with about 10 hours to go we are back to the drawing board on what to do tonight for reception dinner and event.  It sounded like a great idea - but apparently, not so much.

While Hobby Lobby is an evangelical Christian owned company who would not be supportive of our Holy Union - we have grown to love their store.  And their employees have been supportive even when we shared what it's all about.  There are so many stories in corporate America where employees don't live up to the high levels of their corporate service model - but in this case I think they have officially exceeded it. 

We have no concept of how long it will take to complete tasks.  Can't tell you how many times we started a "15 minute" task and were still working on it 2 days later.

As I was writing this, Kandi walked over and I asked her if she had any special thoughts or memories to add.  She asked what I said so far.  When I read it to her she said what a great job I did, and what a great job I've done on so much of this.  And as she looked at me, being so loving at supportive on something as small as a blog post, I was reminded that the thing I did the greatest job on was in finding and keeping her. 

Forever and ever, baby.  And ever. 

Surfing the wave

I think I can say that it's official. The tiny little tasks that I've referred to as the Chinese water torture parts of wedding planning have officially become a tsunami of need and the crest is rising higher and higher and I'm surfing that puppy as fast as I can to make sure I'm not under it when it crashes.  Yea, no pressure.

That said, this is exactly the time I wish I could be writing every day to talk about what's happening and what we're thinking and feeling so we could look back on it and remember all the little details.  But who has the time?  Kandi has been out shopping for one pair of shoes for the last 5 hours. I've been working to finalize some of the details for the wedding ceremony itself and I promised myself that I'd get a good start on the program details before I turned in for the night. 

This weekend our friends Mo and Felicia have put together a night of festivities for us to go out and celebrate.  We start with dueling pianos and we end with strippers. We're starting the morning at the church doing a run through with our pastor.  What a great beginning and ending to the day.  So, before all that happens I have to finalize the ceremony and I really, really, really want to have a good start for the program.  And of course it would be nice if I could get out the evites for our pre- and post- wedding events too...  Definitely pushing my task surfing skills - but it's possible.

So, I'm leaving you with a video.  We received a gift in the mail the other day, and we are so thankful.  For this particular gift though, Kandy was extra thankful, and I had to run to grab the video camera. 

31 days and counting!

Tonight we had our pre-wedding photo session with our photographer Nicky with Mint.  She is fun and we are so looking forward to working with her!  We're even more excited to see the pictures from tonight's shoot.   I wore fake eyelashes that I put on myself.  And I hadn't tried any practice runs.  It was a bit scary but I didn't get anything stuck together that wasn't supposed to be there, so it all turned out ok.  I was able to get some good advice from my buddy David.  20-something years ago he taught me how to apply liquid eyeliner, and now he steps me through fake eyelashes.  THAT is a good friend to have!  :)

It almost feels that we have more things to do now than we did - but it's just because all the decisions really have to be made!  I go for my dress alterations tomorrow which means I have to make the commitment to the shoes that I purchased a few months ago.  This means that during the ceremony I will likely tower over Kandi, the heels are high, but she said she's ok with that for a few hours. 

We need to make the programs.  And while we plan on DIYing those, and have bought some of the materials we haven't finalized a few of the things that would be going into the program so of course that has to happen first! 

We need to finalize the layout of the reception space, but to do that we need to know how many tables we will need and for that everyone needs to RSVP (cough, hint, cough).  And we have to finalize the layout so we can make sure we get the right rentals which we need to get pretty quickly.  And of course, we need the RSVP's to get to the caterer - but everyone knows that, right?  (hint, rsvp, hint)

And then there are the decisions like hair and make up, undergarments (oh my!), transportation, accessories, song lists, and all the other tiny little details that go into making the big day awesome.  When exactly are we suppose to have time to do laundry?  Or get the house ready for all the out of town guest?

We know it will all work itself out somewhere, but my goodness it keeps us busy! 

There's an ap for that

One night we were out and I was watching Kandi play spades with friends, which I really enjoy.  I was messing around with my phone, checking Facebook, looking at our wedding email address and then a thought popped in to my head.

"I wonder if they have any Wedding Aps?"

So I went to the little marketplace and typed in Wedding.  Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds.

I was impressed.  I figured I'd just look for fun.  See if something jumped out at me.

Wedding countdown calendar?  Sure, that could be fun.  Downloaded it and while it was downloading I went back to watching the game.

A few days later we were meeting with a potential wedding coordinator and she asked how long until the wedding (instead of just asking for the date) and suddenly that ap popped into my mind.  There is was.  Just one click of a button and I could tell her exactly.

Crap.

As of this very second I we have 3 Months, 28 Days, 9 hours, 22 minutes and 37 seconds.

I DON'T NEED TO KNOW HOW MANY SECONDS!!!
NO ONE WILL EVER NEED TO KNOW THE SECONDS!!!

I don't need to be riveted as I watch the seconds tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick by.  And then, it's gone.  For every second you watch slip by, another minute is right behind it.  And soon the days are falling past us and we wonder where the time went.

I haven't deleted the ap.

I know, call me a masochist.  Tell me I'm crazy. 

But you know what - I can't get rid of the hope that there is going to be a time when I see that time and instead of thinking "oh crap!" I get excited.  When all of the planning is done.  When there is nothing left for us to do but get our hair done, put on something pretty and pledge our love forever and ever in front of folks who will hold us to it.

That time may not come until we're down to less than 12 hours away.  Down to when our new wedding coordinator Shelly are firmly in control of the reins and we can just sit back and enjoy the moment.  And at that moment I will be more and more excited for every little tick, tick, tick.

PS. Want to be similarly riveted?   Scroll to the bottom of the page...

A lovely "normal" Easter

Easter was lovely.  Nice break from thinking about wedding details.  Went to church.  Had friends and family over for a nice Easter dinner.  It was absolutely perfect in that absolutely normal kind of way. 

And that got me thinking...

One thing that I keep thinking about, but haven't chatted about is the absolutely normal way it's all gone.  That may sound strange but let me say it's really not what we expected when we started this process. 

We thought the church might say no. For year's we'd wondered, scared to find out what they would say.  Instead they came to us before we could even come to them.  There have been nothing but loving open arms. 

We thought looking for vendors would require lots of explanation. We expected to have our "Actually there isn't a groom - this is my partner Kandi" to be followed by the dreaded - "oh.....<silence and judgmental stare>".  You know what we got instead?  "Really?  That's awesome!"  or "That would be so cool - I haven't done a same-sex ceremony before and I really wanted to!".  I'd say that we've been shocked, but there was nothing shocking about it.  It all felt so...normal.

And let's remember - this is Arizona.  Just a few years ago my state, that I love so much, voted though a constitutional amendment restricting marriage to only Man+Woman.  It was the same election cycle that passed Prop 8 and elected Obama.  Talk about mixed emotions. We actually went to a protest the next day.  I think Kandi's sign said it all...

We are happy to fight for our rights, but we were not looking forward to the "fight" for our catering rights.  Or the "struggle" for photographic equality.  But we were ready.  And then...

It was easy.  It was normal.  Everyone loved us.  Everyone wanted to work with us. 

Now don't think I'm so in the wedding haze that the thought is ever lost on me that of COURSE they want to work with us.  Gay wedding $ spends just as good as straight wedding $ and when times are tight, as we all know they are - business is business.  And I know that the folks we're talking to live and die by their ability to make couples feel good.  Make them feel happy and cozy and loved so they'll fork over their hard earned (or Daddy's hard earned) cash.  But at the same time, our B.S. meters are pretty high.  We can normally detect a fake comment.  And we have.  But those were the "I say this to all the brides because it makes them happy" kind of comments.  Hard to fault someone from a few of those when they do this over, and over, and over again.  

But just as there is something wonderful about a holiday with family and friends that goes so smoothly you might call it the "same old boring thing" when you loved every minute of it, this process has been the same old boring wedding planning thing.  Go to bridal shows.  Taste cakes.  Try caterers. Try on dress.  Same old.  Same old.  No one blinks an eye - unless it's a positive comment.   How amazing they think it is that we've been together 10 years.  How they think it's so stupid it's not legal in the state.  How generally awesome they think we are. 

No struggle.  No push back.  Just love. 

Just a normal wedding.  For two fabulous "normal" girls. 

A showing-our-Pride kind of weekend

It almost feels like a slow week until I remember everything that's gone down! A few days of putting off an update here and I feel like I'll lose more of the details - so time to post!

Thursday we met the florist to check out both a florist and a "hard goods" place.  Yea, we didn't know what that meant either.  It's the place that sells all the stuff that won't die.  Vases, ribbon, aisle runners, tulle, candle holders, sparkly things and a wide assortment of dried and silk-ish flowers.  It was awesome.

Amazing, right?  Each bundle is 25 roses and there were more than the 6 I got in this picture.  Wow. 

I love these.  Their name escapes me right now, but I can still like them.  :)

Not sure how or if we'll use this, but I thought it was a "different" kind of option for filler.  Very natural. 

Aren't these cute?  Such a great color punch.  The florist said she's even pulled off the little colored ball at the end and strung them together to make a garland.  I said that's likely too rich for our blood, but I like the idea.  For someone else.

While we were at the hard goods store I felt like I was on some fantasy shopping trip. I had to remind myself that whatever I liked - I paid for. So I tried to remember that - but you know me.  I like it all.  I may have held back, but most folks never would have thought I was!  While we found some great ideas, I also saw something that I thought was SO ugly I couldn't help but make a comment.

In the back there were some large manzanita trees that had been spray painted a bright red.  These beautiful natural trees now looked like red lacquer.  Icky.  So I said so.  More than once.  Ok, so I said it a lot.  They were just really, really ugly to me. Ugly.

This weekend was Pride.  Yea Pride!  Another chance for a parade and free beads.  We really love a parade.  At one point, early on, I really tried to think of how I could incorporate parades into the wedding as that is one thing we've done consistently since we got together - and are really known for doing.  We have such a great time. 

Saturday morning was the parade, then after some errands and lunch we went into the festival.  This was their second year for having a wedding tent, and it was our first stop.  The first thing we noticed was the Air Conditioning.  When the day was a high of 96 degrees, these things matter.  Then we started checking out the vendors who were there.  The third vendor we saw was in fact the hard goods place that we'd just visited a few days before.  Then, as we're going to the next booth, I see it.  Or shall I say - them.

There they were.  The ugliest trees in the world.

Up on stage where the fashion show was about to begin.

It was awful.  And hilarious.  All I kept thinking was, "You know, we're not all THAT gay..."

But apparently - someone who organized this really is. 

After the Pride festival we went to dinner with my Mom - who was so sad she had to miss all the festivities but her friend's wedding started the same time as the parade.  There will always be next year's parade, but hopefully that will be her only wedding so of course we understood.

We went home to change clothes and have a good 15 minutes of quiet time on the sofa as there wasn't time for a disco nap and then we went to the club.

I like the idea of going out. I like dancing, being with friends, drinking my water with lemon and being the designated driver.  I really do.  I enjoyed where we went, and they were even playing good music.  But dear HEAVENS I think I may have either babysat for some of these kids in the club - or for their parents.  While I'm sure I wasn't the oldest person in the place, I was clearly in the top 10%.  So what's a girl to do?

Close the place down.  Oh yea - we were there until the bar was closing up, the last song played, and until - in the words of Prince - the ugly lights came on.  Take that 22 year-old's. 

Then, Friday I got a text and then a call from Kellie at The Big Picture who took our engagement photos.  We had such a busy weekend I didn't really get to see them until Sunday.  We've been waiting to see all the shots that she gave us since our shoot a little over two months ago.  She let us see some teasers - but it's been a long tease!  Now, we have almost 300 to chose from.  Still haven't heard anything about pricing (we never did know what came with what we won when we won it so we've just been happy for everything we've gotten so far!) to get some of the pictures. But since she has given it all to us for free, we wanted to return the favor and share some publicity her way so we're posting the info on Facebook and here for others to see.  About 24 hours after posting it we have 10 likes, 16 comments and 2 re-posts - one of which will be sharing her info with a friend of hers who is looking for a photographer.  The more you get, the more you give back, right?

If you aren't one of the many who saw the pictures, you can check them all out at her View the Big Picture blog.  Well, actually she did a cute little write up on us that included some of the pictures and then she included a link where you could see the other hundreds of options.  As I said on Facebook - enjoy the cuteness!

Did someone just flip a switch?

We had the most amazing weekend. We did the annual Art Detour, which is always amazing. It sort of had a wedding theme as several of the places we went, in addition to art galleries, were possible reception spots. Our friend Karen joined us and it was great to spend time with her. When we went to lunch we ran into our friend Brian. Running into friends is not something that happens easily in Phoenix. We are a huge city and folks can be so spread out around town you are quite unlikely to be in similar places. Running into a friend is an awesome treat! And as a bonus - these are both friends that if we were doing a wedding party they would be in it. Wedding planning, friends AND art. Heaven.

After dropping off Karen, we decided to stop by a location that we had contemplated once as a reception site back before there was a ring and we were "officially" looking for anything. After looking around and talking about how cool it could be - we decided to ask if they rented the space. Turns out they do. They have only had 2 other weddings there. We got excited. She didn't have the full pricing details, but she gave us what she did know and let me just say - we were excited! And that is exactly why I'm not giving the name of the place! :) Let me just say - it really is amazing. It's a place that is very us, but isn't a place we've been with anyone else, or that anyone else would even know is very us. So - we've emailed someone there to get more details and will be holding our fingers very, very tightly until we hear back from them.

After all that, we were feeling more positive about the idea of actually having the ceremony this year than we have in a long, long time. We decided to go get some ice cream and hang out in our nearby park to enjoy the amazing weather. Looking around there we talked about how beautiful that spot is, and that we'll need to plan some kind of family picnic there when all the family is in town. We've talked about it before, but this time just felt more "real". Like it wasn't just an idea - but that it was really going to happen.

We met another friend that night in another downtown spot. From there, I went home to spend the next few hours updating our Ceremony spread sheet and trying to get equipment rental prices for some new ideas we had. Kandi spent the last few hours of the night at the casino trying to add to the wedding funds. No such luck that night - but she still had a great time!

Sunday after church we went to a family picnic where I saw some 2nd and 3rd level cousins I haven't seen in a good 15 to 25 years. We had a good time and enjoyed seeing family.

Really great weekend. It was so focused on friends, family and ceremony stuff woven into it all. But what's even better is that it didn't END with the weekend!

Tonight after work we had a questionable dinner - we went to a cake tasting! We planned to eat something great when we got home, but were both too full of cake! We came up with some amazing ideas that we are really excited about too!

Tomorrow I go try on dresses. Maybe I should have planned that before the cake tasting? :) It's at David's Bridal and I'll be honest that my hopes are NOT high! I've heard some really horrible experiences from brides over a size 12. If you can't try on a dress that even sort of fits - it's hard to really make that non-refundable hundreds of dollars custom dress kind of decision. But - I'm willing to give it a go!

Thursday we have our very first caterer tasting with Magic Touch Catering. Their appetizers were SO good at the vendor showcase at Bentley Projects that we've been talking about them since then. We knew we had to make the appointment!

Whew! So much in such a short period of time! Did I mention how excited we are? We're so excited to see where some of the updates from this weekend take us! It's definitely proving to be a fabulous adventure!

Thanksgiving in retrospect

We had a wonderful holiday long weekend filled with some of the best things in life - friends, family and shopping.

Wednesday I made some traditional pumpkin pies and then some rolls that were famously made by my Aunt Mary Jane who hasn't been with us for several years now. I don't make them often because they take SO much time and are never as good as when she made them. But they remind me of her every time as I had her describe to me how to make them and I wrote down every word she said. It cracks me up every time when I get to the line about when to turn your oven on because if you do it any earlier you will run up your electricity bill. Gotta love it.

Thursday, Thanksgiving day, was wonderful. Just Kandi and I cooking, watching the parade and house prepping until late afternoon. Going to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is totally on our bucket list. We event talked at one point Thursday about making that our Honeymoon since the timing would be almost perfect but know it will likely have to wait for another year. We had a small group of family and friends that came over about 4 and were there until after 10pm. Late in the night we were able to get some wedding day opinions from them which proved to be very interesting. Got their thoughts on week day vs. weekend, start times, colors, indoor/outdoor etc. It was nice to run them by other folks but at the same time, we later discussed that it was also a reminder of why we are likely to do it on our own for most of the planning. While we like other folks input here and there, for some of the items we don't want to hear that someone else doesn't "love" something we love. It was really great to do at this point in the process.

Friday we'd planned to go to the stores nice and early to get some deals. When the alarm when off that morning we decided that we would actually rather just sleep and save the money. Later that day we went to Pie Party - our friends Kate & John's annual must attend event. Their house is amazing and I've loved it since I first met them 10 years ago and it just gets better. They have done such great things with it. (Though I still miss the 50's style booth in the eat in part of the kitchen - I will admit that their re-do of the kitchen is absolutely fantastic) One day when I was feeling frustrated with the the costs and obstacles in selecting a reception venue I'd joked to Kandi that we were just going to do it at Kate's house and that I'd let her know when we saw her for Pie Party. When I mentioned that to Kate she said that the people who lived there before them actually HAD hosted several weddings in their back yard. I think we'll keep her house off the official list for now, but if I don't get a job in the next few months - it goes on the list. :)

Saturday we decided to do just a little bit of shopping. Bought a few Christmas gifts AND bought a few wedding things. Two small things and one big thing. We bought a wax stamp to be able to put on the back of the invitations with a design we really liked, and we bought matching white hats with "BRIDE" in rhinestone on the front. Then our big thing was a treadmill. Doesn't seem very wedding-y I know, but it is. We've been working on getting healthy over the last few years but have never been great about working out. We know that we both want to be healthier (Not skinny - just healthier than our current weight) by the time of our ceremony so this was a huge step. It was a great sale and we've talked about getting one for years so we decided to take the plunge. We spent the evening with friends playing board games and eating pizza. Not super healthy - but not awful.

Sunday was all about being lazy, relaxing and then putting together the treadmill. Successful on all counts. We love lazy Sundays and it was great to have after a busy weekend. Gave us time to really think about our week, and talk about how thankful we were for everything we have and the great friends and family who are in our life. Hope you are still thankful to be in our lives after all the DIY adventures we're sure to have as we get closer and closer to the big day! You didn't know about that? Well, consider yourselves warned. :)