A showing-our-Pride kind of weekend

It almost feels like a slow week until I remember everything that's gone down! A few days of putting off an update here and I feel like I'll lose more of the details - so time to post!

Thursday we met the florist to check out both a florist and a "hard goods" place.  Yea, we didn't know what that meant either.  It's the place that sells all the stuff that won't die.  Vases, ribbon, aisle runners, tulle, candle holders, sparkly things and a wide assortment of dried and silk-ish flowers.  It was awesome.

Amazing, right?  Each bundle is 25 roses and there were more than the 6 I got in this picture.  Wow. 

I love these.  Their name escapes me right now, but I can still like them.  :)

Not sure how or if we'll use this, but I thought it was a "different" kind of option for filler.  Very natural. 

Aren't these cute?  Such a great color punch.  The florist said she's even pulled off the little colored ball at the end and strung them together to make a garland.  I said that's likely too rich for our blood, but I like the idea.  For someone else.

While we were at the hard goods store I felt like I was on some fantasy shopping trip. I had to remind myself that whatever I liked - I paid for. So I tried to remember that - but you know me.  I like it all.  I may have held back, but most folks never would have thought I was!  While we found some great ideas, I also saw something that I thought was SO ugly I couldn't help but make a comment.

In the back there were some large manzanita trees that had been spray painted a bright red.  These beautiful natural trees now looked like red lacquer.  Icky.  So I said so.  More than once.  Ok, so I said it a lot.  They were just really, really ugly to me. Ugly.

This weekend was Pride.  Yea Pride!  Another chance for a parade and free beads.  We really love a parade.  At one point, early on, I really tried to think of how I could incorporate parades into the wedding as that is one thing we've done consistently since we got together - and are really known for doing.  We have such a great time. 

Saturday morning was the parade, then after some errands and lunch we went into the festival.  This was their second year for having a wedding tent, and it was our first stop.  The first thing we noticed was the Air Conditioning.  When the day was a high of 96 degrees, these things matter.  Then we started checking out the vendors who were there.  The third vendor we saw was in fact the hard goods place that we'd just visited a few days before.  Then, as we're going to the next booth, I see it.  Or shall I say - them.

There they were.  The ugliest trees in the world.

Up on stage where the fashion show was about to begin.

It was awful.  And hilarious.  All I kept thinking was, "You know, we're not all THAT gay..."

But apparently - someone who organized this really is. 

After the Pride festival we went to dinner with my Mom - who was so sad she had to miss all the festivities but her friend's wedding started the same time as the parade.  There will always be next year's parade, but hopefully that will be her only wedding so of course we understood.

We went home to change clothes and have a good 15 minutes of quiet time on the sofa as there wasn't time for a disco nap and then we went to the club.

I like the idea of going out. I like dancing, being with friends, drinking my water with lemon and being the designated driver.  I really do.  I enjoyed where we went, and they were even playing good music.  But dear HEAVENS I think I may have either babysat for some of these kids in the club - or for their parents.  While I'm sure I wasn't the oldest person in the place, I was clearly in the top 10%.  So what's a girl to do?

Close the place down.  Oh yea - we were there until the bar was closing up, the last song played, and until - in the words of Prince - the ugly lights came on.  Take that 22 year-old's. 

Then, Friday I got a text and then a call from Kellie at The Big Picture who took our engagement photos.  We had such a busy weekend I didn't really get to see them until Sunday.  We've been waiting to see all the shots that she gave us since our shoot a little over two months ago.  She let us see some teasers - but it's been a long tease!  Now, we have almost 300 to chose from.  Still haven't heard anything about pricing (we never did know what came with what we won when we won it so we've just been happy for everything we've gotten so far!) to get some of the pictures. But since she has given it all to us for free, we wanted to return the favor and share some publicity her way so we're posting the info on Facebook and here for others to see.  About 24 hours after posting it we have 10 likes, 16 comments and 2 re-posts - one of which will be sharing her info with a friend of hers who is looking for a photographer.  The more you get, the more you give back, right?

If you aren't one of the many who saw the pictures, you can check them all out at her View the Big Picture blog.  Well, actually she did a cute little write up on us that included some of the pictures and then she included a link where you could see the other hundreds of options.  As I said on Facebook - enjoy the cuteness!

Facebook official

I didn't even know it was an option, but thanks to Kandi we are now "Facebook official" and have changed our "status" to engaged. Officially moved from "in a relationship with ___" to "Engaged to ____". As often happens several folks commented or "Liked" the status update and every one makes us smile and feel that extra bit of excitement and warmth that we're supposed to feel at this time.

Because we aren't your average John and Jane getting hitched, while those "Like's" are appreciated, we also have to steady ourselves for the Un-likes. Of course we expect to get that from individuals of some circles of society who feel that this is somehow "wrong" and those are certainly easy to take. They can have their opinion and we have ours. We have a strong relationship with our church and our patriotism and no criticism from the outside world will change that.

That's not to say that it doesn't hurt a bit when it comes from your family.

My coming out process went something like this.
Me: Mom, I'm dating a girl.
Mom: That's nice. Did I tell you what happened at work the other day?

For Kandi it wasn't quite that simple. I'll always remember having to hide in her room when an old friend of her's dropped by or needing to be extra quiet when she was on the phone with family. We were together about 9 months before she told her mom. And it took almost an extra year before she told the rest of the family. I was "her friend" for quite a while but over the years as they've gotten to know me better I became their daughter, their cousin, their granddaughter their niece - their family. It was a slow process - but one we knew would be worth the wait. For those that are on Facebook I was added to their Family Tree. We were Facebook Official family.

Kandi and I imagined that the engagement excitement would pick up on where we are now, but have found that for some members of our family it's the coming out process all over again. I anticipated that quite a bit of my extended family would fall into the "polite but unaccepting" category when it came to our announcement. My side of the family isn't exceptionally close and in our 10 years together they many have seen Kandi, and me for that matter, only a few times. This distance allows me to not be too upset when those "polite unlike" opinions come, but to be happy when true congratulations are given.

Kandi's family is very close. They have the kind of relationship I'd heard of in movies but didn't really think existed until I met her. Aunts, uncles, cousins - they all talk on the phone at least once a week. They call just to say hello. They call to talk about something they saw on TV. They call to talk about things that happened in their home town - as most of the group still live there in a 15 minute range of each other. And of course, they call to talk about each other. It's awesome.

It's been 4 months since she bought the ring and several weeks since I had it on my finger and only two members of her family have really said congratulations. Some have changed the topic. Several others have shared their conflicted disapproval. This is of course difficult. And unfortunate.

I firmly believe that just as the initial acceptance took some time, so will the acceptance that we are having this ceremony and making this commitment. I believe that God works in amazing ways and will help them to see past fears, insecurities and really unfortunate bible passages that some religions pluck out of a group, hold as unbending and then ignore or explain away all others that were part of the same group as if they didn't mean those quite as much. I believe that the greatest of all things is love and with it one can accomplish amazing things.

But -

We are only doing this once. You can only come to this once. I need that warm and loving light to shine on them in the next 6-8 months to ensure that my sweetie has her whole loving family around her on her special day. It may not be easy, but I have to believe it can happen.

Lots of hope. Lots of prayer. Lots of love.