It's the most wonderful time of the year!
While our family grew up celebrating Christmas in very different ways, over the years we've created a few new traditions in how we celebrate the day. Our immediate family and an occasional friend come over on Christmas morning for breakfast, stockings and presents. We have kept my family tradition of opening gifts one at a time, youngest to oldest. While this slow pace has driven Kandi crazy over the years she has been great about accepting how important that is for us. We're still working out how to ensure everyone's traditions are incorporated - or if there are new traditions we want to start - but we have a lifetime for that!
Sadly, we found out on Sunday that our wonderful Pastor Barb will be leaving the church for a 6 month position with another church. Frankly, our church is struggling financially and she and her husband Pastor Rich were already sharing what would be less than half of one salary in most churches. This is a great opportunity for her financially, but puts a few questions into the air for us in terms of our ceremony as she may be asked to stay after the 6 month position expires which would mean that she was technically the pastor of another church during our planned ceremony time. Pastor Rich will move from a co-pastor/support role at our church to being the sole pastor, and while he is great we have a special bond with Pastor Barb and really want her to lead our ceremony. We'll have to make sure this can all work as planned when we see them next weekend.
Getting married in our church is so important for Kandi and I. Before Pastor Barb we didn't even know it was an option to have a Holy Union Ceremony at the church so it would be strange to even think about doing it without her. Just when we thought the pastor and the location was the one thing that was finalized and could never change...
We don't get the opportunity to really make any decisions about our big day until I'm employed so I'm not only feeling the pressure, but I'm also SO frustrated to not be able to make some decisions so we can start moving forward in planning. We've been engaged for 2 months and we're "saying" that the ceremony is 10 months away so of course folks keep asking about it, and I love their hopeful curiosity. It just makes it a bit tough harder on me because every conversation is a reminder that I don't have a job yet. When someone asks, "So, have you set a date yet?" with nothing but love and interest in their voice it's tough to answer, "We can't make any decisions until I have a job." Talk about Debbie Downer. We try to talk around it a bit. Mention that we've looked at quite a few places but just haven't made a decision. But when they start asking quite a few questions or talking about how we better nail down something soon I have had to explain that we would love to - but just can't until we know more about my future employment. Unfortunately, many folks that we have ultimately had to explain that we're at a pause point until I secure a job, will continue to ask again next time we see them. Yep, still can't make any decisions because I'm unemployed. Still can't get a job. Thanks for bringing it up. I know they certainly don't mean it that way and it's certainly not their fault. But it brings a bit of sadness to something that we want to just feel so happy and excited about.
January will be here soon. Three places have said that they should have some "movement" by the end of January so my fingers are firmly crossed.
Here's to the end of an amazing 2010 and to a wonderfully blessed new year to come!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
New friends, new opportunities!
This weekend we went to a "Bridal Expo" this weekend that was organized by the amazing Bamboo Bakery. We have seen them at 2 other events and Kandi is head over heels for their Red Velvet cake. I loved their Banana - and love the idea as it's not your "standard" cake. As soon as I heard they would have 15 different cake flavors available for testing I knew we had to be there.
Rather than having to pay for entry because they were renting out some hotel space as many other events do, this event was held right in front of the shopping plaza where Bamboo Bakery and several other celebration themed vendors all have their retail homes. When we pulled up to the strip mall we initially thought - "well, it's small but at least there's cake" but boy were we wrong. There were more vendors at this event than any others we've gone to so far. We got there at 3:30pm and didn't leave until almost 7pm - just as the fashion shows were about to start. At that point we'd seen everything and were hungry so we had to go but we did get to see some of the models lining up as we walked to the car.
We found a florist that we really clicked with. The name of the company is Crazy Daisies Flowers and Gifts. Michelle, the owner/designer, and her husband were there and while she was chatting with us he was actively creating some arrangements in the background. I liked some of the ideas she had and they both liked one of the big ideas I had for the big day. Her husband even joked that they would be stealing that for a future event. She was almost finishing my sentences by the time we were done - we just clicked. While we haven't gone down the road of figuring out our budget yet for floral (again, job kinda comes first...), and we didn't ask Michelle much about her pricing, I think it's quite possible that we may have just found our florist. :)
We also met a really nice photographer. His company is SJA Studios. When I started talking to him he was just thinking "normal wedding". After Kandi walked back over from looking at another booth and I introduced her as my partner he got SO excited. He mentioned he had never done a same sex ceremony but he has 2 gay sisters. I think he was pretty excited about the idea. Heck, I think he was MORE excited about the idea of having us/me as a customer once he knew it was a same sex ceremony than he was when we would have just been a "normal" event. We will definitely put him into consideration when deciding our photographer.
One of the little booths/tables was a sign for "Indian and Arabic Henna". I have been absolutely fascinated by the detailed designs done on brides hands and feet in Indian tradition. Not only are the designs just incredible, but I think it's amazing that they often make it a major event in having this done with family and friends around contributing one more party to the pre-wedding festivities. I've heard that more and more western brides are incorporating something like this into their big day but I've been hesitant to do something like that. BUT - that sign said Arabic Henna... I'd never heard of Arabic Henna before and as someone who is half Arabic, I was intrigued. She showed me several designs explaining the differences in the style between Indian and Arabic styles. Briefly, Indian Henna is filled with tons of tiny little details and designs and is usually a golden to medium brown color. Arabic Henna is often a more organic flow with floral designs or inspiration from art incorporated into the design and it is generally a very dark brown to almost black color. So, she asked if I'd like to try it out. I give into my curiosity and, since I was wearing a long sleeve sweater, give her my hand. About 2-3 minutes later, she was done.
(Hours later after removing the dried application)
About a minute into her design I made the comment to Kandi that I was totally safe in getting this now as I wasn't likely to have any phone calls asking me to come in the next day for an interview.
Monday afternoon I got a call to come in for a Tuesday interview.
If I get this job, henna is officially my new lucky charm.
All in all a really good weekend with lots of new information - and the potential for an even better week! Fingers crossed!
Rather than having to pay for entry because they were renting out some hotel space as many other events do, this event was held right in front of the shopping plaza where Bamboo Bakery and several other celebration themed vendors all have their retail homes. When we pulled up to the strip mall we initially thought - "well, it's small but at least there's cake" but boy were we wrong. There were more vendors at this event than any others we've gone to so far. We got there at 3:30pm and didn't leave until almost 7pm - just as the fashion shows were about to start. At that point we'd seen everything and were hungry so we had to go but we did get to see some of the models lining up as we walked to the car.
We found a florist that we really clicked with. The name of the company is Crazy Daisies Flowers and Gifts. Michelle, the owner/designer, and her husband were there and while she was chatting with us he was actively creating some arrangements in the background. I liked some of the ideas she had and they both liked one of the big ideas I had for the big day. Her husband even joked that they would be stealing that for a future event. She was almost finishing my sentences by the time we were done - we just clicked. While we haven't gone down the road of figuring out our budget yet for floral (again, job kinda comes first...), and we didn't ask Michelle much about her pricing, I think it's quite possible that we may have just found our florist. :)
We also met a really nice photographer. His company is SJA Studios. When I started talking to him he was just thinking "normal wedding". After Kandi walked back over from looking at another booth and I introduced her as my partner he got SO excited. He mentioned he had never done a same sex ceremony but he has 2 gay sisters. I think he was pretty excited about the idea. Heck, I think he was MORE excited about the idea of having us/me as a customer once he knew it was a same sex ceremony than he was when we would have just been a "normal" event. We will definitely put him into consideration when deciding our photographer.
One of the little booths/tables was a sign for "Indian and Arabic Henna". I have been absolutely fascinated by the detailed designs done on brides hands and feet in Indian tradition. Not only are the designs just incredible, but I think it's amazing that they often make it a major event in having this done with family and friends around contributing one more party to the pre-wedding festivities. I've heard that more and more western brides are incorporating something like this into their big day but I've been hesitant to do something like that. BUT - that sign said Arabic Henna... I'd never heard of Arabic Henna before and as someone who is half Arabic, I was intrigued. She showed me several designs explaining the differences in the style between Indian and Arabic styles. Briefly, Indian Henna is filled with tons of tiny little details and designs and is usually a golden to medium brown color. Arabic Henna is often a more organic flow with floral designs or inspiration from art incorporated into the design and it is generally a very dark brown to almost black color. So, she asked if I'd like to try it out. I give into my curiosity and, since I was wearing a long sleeve sweater, give her my hand. About 2-3 minutes later, she was done.
(Hours later after removing the dried application)Monday afternoon I got a call to come in for a Tuesday interview.
If I get this job, henna is officially my new lucky charm.
All in all a really good weekend with lots of new information - and the potential for an even better week! Fingers crossed!
Monday, November 29, 2010
Thanksgiving in retrospect
We had a wonderful holiday long weekend filled with some of the best things in life - friends, family and shopping.
Wednesday I made some traditional pumpkin pies and then some rolls that were famously made by my Aunt Mary Jane who hasn't been with us for several years now. I don't make them often because they take SO much time and are never as good as when she made them. But they remind me of her every time as I had her describe to me how to make them and I wrote down every word she said. It cracks me up every time when I get to the line about when to turn your oven on because if you do it any earlier you will run up your electricity bill. Gotta love it.
Thursday, Thanksgiving day, was wonderful. Just Kandi and I cooking, watching the parade and house prepping until late afternoon. Going to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is totally on our bucket list. We event talked at one point Thursday about making that our Honeymoon since the timing would be almost perfect but know it will likely have to wait for another year. We had a small group of family and friends that came over about 4 and were there until after 10pm. Late in the night we were able to get some wedding day opinions from them which proved to be very interesting. Got their thoughts on week day vs. weekend, start times, colors, indoor/outdoor etc. It was nice to run them by other folks but at the same time, we later discussed that it was also a reminder of why we are likely to do it on our own for most of the planning. While we like other folks input here and there, for some of the items we don't want to hear that someone else doesn't "love" something we love. It was really great to do at this point in the process.
Friday we'd planned to go to the stores nice and early to get some deals. When the alarm when off that morning we decided that we would actually rather just sleep and save the money. Later that day we went to Pie Party - our friends Kate & John's annual must attend event. Their house is amazing and I've loved it since I first met them 10 years ago and it just gets better. They have done such great things with it. (Though I still miss the 50's style booth in the eat in part of the kitchen - I will admit that their re-do of the kitchen is absolutely fantastic) One day when I was feeling frustrated with the the costs and obstacles in selecting a reception venue I'd joked to Kandi that we were just going to do it at Kate's house and that I'd let her know when we saw her for Pie Party. When I mentioned that to Kate she said that the people who lived there before them actually HAD hosted several weddings in their back yard. I think we'll keep her house off the official list for now, but if I don't get a job in the next few months - it goes on the list. :)
Saturday we decided to do just a little bit of shopping. Bought a few Christmas gifts AND bought a few wedding things. Two small things and one big thing. We bought a wax stamp to be able to put on the back of the invitations with a design we really liked, and we bought matching white hats with "BRIDE" in rhinestone on the front. Then our big thing was a treadmill. Doesn't seem very wedding-y I know, but it is. We've been working on getting healthy over the last few years but have never been great about working out. We know that we both want to be healthier (Not skinny - just healthier than our current weight) by the time of our ceremony so this was a huge step. It was a great sale and we've talked about getting one for years so we decided to take the plunge. We spent the evening with friends playing board games and eating pizza. Not super healthy - but not awful.
Sunday was all about being lazy, relaxing and then putting together the treadmill. Successful on all counts. We love lazy Sundays and it was great to have after a busy weekend. Gave us time to really think about our week, and talk about how thankful we were for everything we have and the great friends and family who are in our life. Hope you are still thankful to be in our lives after all the DIY adventures we're sure to have as we get closer and closer to the big day! You didn't know about that? Well, consider yourselves warned. :)
Wednesday I made some traditional pumpkin pies and then some rolls that were famously made by my Aunt Mary Jane who hasn't been with us for several years now. I don't make them often because they take SO much time and are never as good as when she made them. But they remind me of her every time as I had her describe to me how to make them and I wrote down every word she said. It cracks me up every time when I get to the line about when to turn your oven on because if you do it any earlier you will run up your electricity bill. Gotta love it.
Thursday, Thanksgiving day, was wonderful. Just Kandi and I cooking, watching the parade and house prepping until late afternoon. Going to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is totally on our bucket list. We event talked at one point Thursday about making that our Honeymoon since the timing would be almost perfect but know it will likely have to wait for another year. We had a small group of family and friends that came over about 4 and were there until after 10pm. Late in the night we were able to get some wedding day opinions from them which proved to be very interesting. Got their thoughts on week day vs. weekend, start times, colors, indoor/outdoor etc. It was nice to run them by other folks but at the same time, we later discussed that it was also a reminder of why we are likely to do it on our own for most of the planning. While we like other folks input here and there, for some of the items we don't want to hear that someone else doesn't "love" something we love. It was really great to do at this point in the process.
Friday we'd planned to go to the stores nice and early to get some deals. When the alarm when off that morning we decided that we would actually rather just sleep and save the money. Later that day we went to Pie Party - our friends Kate & John's annual must attend event. Their house is amazing and I've loved it since I first met them 10 years ago and it just gets better. They have done such great things with it. (Though I still miss the 50's style booth in the eat in part of the kitchen - I will admit that their re-do of the kitchen is absolutely fantastic) One day when I was feeling frustrated with the the costs and obstacles in selecting a reception venue I'd joked to Kandi that we were just going to do it at Kate's house and that I'd let her know when we saw her for Pie Party. When I mentioned that to Kate she said that the people who lived there before them actually HAD hosted several weddings in their back yard. I think we'll keep her house off the official list for now, but if I don't get a job in the next few months - it goes on the list. :)
Saturday we decided to do just a little bit of shopping. Bought a few Christmas gifts AND bought a few wedding things. Two small things and one big thing. We bought a wax stamp to be able to put on the back of the invitations with a design we really liked, and we bought matching white hats with "BRIDE" in rhinestone on the front. Then our big thing was a treadmill. Doesn't seem very wedding-y I know, but it is. We've been working on getting healthy over the last few years but have never been great about working out. We know that we both want to be healthier (Not skinny - just healthier than our current weight) by the time of our ceremony so this was a huge step. It was a great sale and we've talked about getting one for years so we decided to take the plunge. We spent the evening with friends playing board games and eating pizza. Not super healthy - but not awful.
Sunday was all about being lazy, relaxing and then putting together the treadmill. Successful on all counts. We love lazy Sundays and it was great to have after a busy weekend. Gave us time to really think about our week, and talk about how thankful we were for everything we have and the great friends and family who are in our life. Hope you are still thankful to be in our lives after all the DIY adventures we're sure to have as we get closer and closer to the big day! You didn't know about that? Well, consider yourselves warned. :)
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Thanksgiving blessings
Ahh.... Thanksgiving. A time to be thankful, be with friends and family, and generally stuff yourself. It's also the beginning of the "season of traditions". You know - "my family does it like this..." or "When I was a kid we did this and I want it to be like that for our kids". For new families it is one of the times of greatest stress because each person wants exactly what they want which leaves very little room for their equal partner to have things just the way they want.
Our First Thanksgiving together we didn't really spend together. While we were largely inseparable, we didn't actually live together. She went to her aunt's house and I went with my family. We spoke on the phone a few times during the day of but didn't see each other until that evening.
For our second Thanksgiving we were living together and Kandi came to my family's Thanksgiving celebration. Though the idea of having all the family together was certainly right up her alley, almost none of the food felt like "Thanksgiving" to her. So, she called her family back in Ohio and got them to explain over the phone to her everything that she would need to make a Thanksgiving meal. The next day, when we should have been out enjoying the crush of fellow shoppers, we made Kandi's Thanksgiving. Rather than make a big turkey she did Cornish hens, cornbread dressing, baked macaroni and cheese, and greens. All from scratch. All amazing. Something I was just reminded of this year - she had never made any of these items before, but it was important to her to have them - so she did them. I was impressed.
By Thanksgiving #3 we had a house that we'd rented together and we decided to have family and friends over to our house. I remember we used our dining room table, 2 card tables and 2 TV Trays pushed together. They had already learned that when Kandi cooked - it was an event not to be missed. Kandi fried the turkey in the backyard, we did a coke and brown sugar ham, her Grandmother's cornbread dressing, baked macaroni and cheese, greens with a smokey ham hock, potato salad and her Grandmother's famous pound cake for dessert. And was it ever a hit!!! The turkey was gone so fast I didn't even get a serving. One of my brothers made his second plate almost completely macaroni and cheese and even though he doesn't eat pork, he ate the heck out of those greens. By the end of that meal our new family tradition was set. Kandi makes her "standards" and friends and family bring over their pot-luck sides.
Most years we have had 12-18 people but somehow this year we have a tiny group. Just 9 folks are expected here. We haven't had "single digits" ever before. Ever. But while our numbers are fewer, our food is still big. :) Sure, she cut back on making quite so many pans of dressing and mac and cheese (though she still knew to make 2 pans with my brothers coming...) we still have a ton of options. Everyone can be stuffed and we'll still have a gob of leftovers. Our guest list may be small but our food and thanks are plenty. We've had many blessings this year.
While I may be unemployed now - we are ever so thankful for the temporary job I had last year. Not only did that keep us going as a household it also helped bring a full time job to Aunt Patti and a part time job to Kandi. Little did I know that many of the dollars earned at that part time job were going to the beautiful diamond ring on my hand right now. While we have family that is still struggling to embrace that "the greatest of these is love", we are so thankful for the friends and family and neighbors and practical strangers who have shared love and tears of joy when hearing of our engagement. Those special moments and conversations have filled our hearts in ways you might never have realized.
We are thankful to have almost accidentally found an amazing church filled with history, stained glass, traditions and so much love it's just about bursting from the seams. We've been going about 4 years now and since most of the congregation are senior citizens we've seen our numbers drop more and more each year. That said, they give us hope every Sunday. When celebrating a congregant's 90th birthday last month and seeing pictures of he and his wife when they were barely in their 20's - we saw what we hope to be. Each person is so special to us, and knowing that even in this traditional congregation our love is so embraced and celebrated by folks who came from a generation or two ahead of us is something we never could have imagined - and yet now can't imagine being without.
We are thankful for Pastor Barb who asked us to be the first Holy Union for the church. It touched us more than you will know. Your sermons both inspire us and make us think. We couldn't have any one else lead us on our special day.
And of course - we are thankful for each other. No one else deserves us and no one else would put up with us. I say it regularly and it's always true - I love you more every day. Every. Single. Day. More.
Happy Thanksgiving to my baby and Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!
Our First Thanksgiving together we didn't really spend together. While we were largely inseparable, we didn't actually live together. She went to her aunt's house and I went with my family. We spoke on the phone a few times during the day of but didn't see each other until that evening.
For our second Thanksgiving we were living together and Kandi came to my family's Thanksgiving celebration. Though the idea of having all the family together was certainly right up her alley, almost none of the food felt like "Thanksgiving" to her. So, she called her family back in Ohio and got them to explain over the phone to her everything that she would need to make a Thanksgiving meal. The next day, when we should have been out enjoying the crush of fellow shoppers, we made Kandi's Thanksgiving. Rather than make a big turkey she did Cornish hens, cornbread dressing, baked macaroni and cheese, and greens. All from scratch. All amazing. Something I was just reminded of this year - she had never made any of these items before, but it was important to her to have them - so she did them. I was impressed.
By Thanksgiving #3 we had a house that we'd rented together and we decided to have family and friends over to our house. I remember we used our dining room table, 2 card tables and 2 TV Trays pushed together. They had already learned that when Kandi cooked - it was an event not to be missed. Kandi fried the turkey in the backyard, we did a coke and brown sugar ham, her Grandmother's cornbread dressing, baked macaroni and cheese, greens with a smokey ham hock, potato salad and her Grandmother's famous pound cake for dessert. And was it ever a hit!!! The turkey was gone so fast I didn't even get a serving. One of my brothers made his second plate almost completely macaroni and cheese and even though he doesn't eat pork, he ate the heck out of those greens. By the end of that meal our new family tradition was set. Kandi makes her "standards" and friends and family bring over their pot-luck sides.
Most years we have had 12-18 people but somehow this year we have a tiny group. Just 9 folks are expected here. We haven't had "single digits" ever before. Ever. But while our numbers are fewer, our food is still big. :) Sure, she cut back on making quite so many pans of dressing and mac and cheese (though she still knew to make 2 pans with my brothers coming...) we still have a ton of options. Everyone can be stuffed and we'll still have a gob of leftovers. Our guest list may be small but our food and thanks are plenty. We've had many blessings this year.
While I may be unemployed now - we are ever so thankful for the temporary job I had last year. Not only did that keep us going as a household it also helped bring a full time job to Aunt Patti and a part time job to Kandi. Little did I know that many of the dollars earned at that part time job were going to the beautiful diamond ring on my hand right now. While we have family that is still struggling to embrace that "the greatest of these is love", we are so thankful for the friends and family and neighbors and practical strangers who have shared love and tears of joy when hearing of our engagement. Those special moments and conversations have filled our hearts in ways you might never have realized.
We are thankful to have almost accidentally found an amazing church filled with history, stained glass, traditions and so much love it's just about bursting from the seams. We've been going about 4 years now and since most of the congregation are senior citizens we've seen our numbers drop more and more each year. That said, they give us hope every Sunday. When celebrating a congregant's 90th birthday last month and seeing pictures of he and his wife when they were barely in their 20's - we saw what we hope to be. Each person is so special to us, and knowing that even in this traditional congregation our love is so embraced and celebrated by folks who came from a generation or two ahead of us is something we never could have imagined - and yet now can't imagine being without.
We are thankful for Pastor Barb who asked us to be the first Holy Union for the church. It touched us more than you will know. Your sermons both inspire us and make us think. We couldn't have any one else lead us on our special day.
And of course - we are thankful for each other. No one else deserves us and no one else would put up with us. I say it regularly and it's always true - I love you more every day. Every. Single. Day. More.
Happy Thanksgiving to my baby and Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Something ugly?
The more I look at wedding dresses the uglier they are. Seriously. How in the world does someone create this and think "This will make a bride feel beautiful"?
Eeeeeeeeeeek!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lace and ribbon and bows and poofy-ness. That dress is almost everything I don't want to be. I also don't want to be uber uptight where my dress must be without wrinkle or flaw and my train must lay just so at all times and a if a hair were to fall out of place I'd positively break down. That is just SO not me.
Then again, Kandi doesn't have it much better.
I did find a few dresses that were "ok" and I found a few that I super love - but of course those are through online only venues and since the dresses are custom made for you there is no trying it on first which makes the prospect a bit scary. I'm telling myself that for right now I'm looking at ideas and I won't worry too much about it all until February or March. That gives me tons of time to find new ideas, new dress designers, new dress stores, and maybe a seamstress.
Eeeeeeeeeeek!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lace and ribbon and bows and poofy-ness. That dress is almost everything I don't want to be. I also don't want to be uber uptight where my dress must be without wrinkle or flaw and my train must lay just so at all times and a if a hair were to fall out of place I'd positively break down. That is just SO not me.
Then again, Kandi doesn't have it much better.
She really wants a bridal pantsuit. She's never really been a dress kind of person - which likely goes back to being forced to wear skirts for Catholic school when she didn't want to go there in the first place. Between the nuns with their rulers and being forced to go to Mass when you aren't even Catholic, I suppose I can understand. I think a nice suit is great in theory and I know she could rock it, but it's been amazingly hard to find. So far they've either looked like a) A male white suit - which is SO not what she wants, b) The kind of suit one would see at a black southern baptist church with matching hat and shoes worn by someone 2-2x her age, c) Just ugly. If we could find something like this in white, we could be on to something...
I did find a few dresses that were "ok" and I found a few that I super love - but of course those are through online only venues and since the dresses are custom made for you there is no trying it on first which makes the prospect a bit scary. I'm telling myself that for right now I'm looking at ideas and I won't worry too much about it all until February or March. That gives me tons of time to find new ideas, new dress designers, new dress stores, and maybe a seamstress.
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