It just took one phone call and then...
We have a date!
Yes, we officially have a date on hold at the place we recently found. We talked with someone after hours today to get the details and they were able to hold the date. We were excited, and began calling friends and family.
And then, it just took one phone call to potentially change the date. Turns out that my mom's job has 7 days in the middle of October where absolutely no one is allowed to take a day off. Our originally planned date falls on the first of those 7 days. So, she will be going to work on Monday to do some begging to have the day off, or at least a half day. If that doesn't work out, we may have to talk about changing the date. There are very, very few people we would change a date for, but a mom absolutely ranks on that list. We thought briefly about doing it on November 11th, but Kandi's mom was worried about flying out in November Ohio weather. So we went back to our original October plans. Mom's are important. And, being that less than 10 people have heard the date so far, it wouldn't throw too much off if we had to change it now as long as we know very very soon. Of course we hope that they will be accommodating at her job - but if not we know that we will have to be.
Now, on to better news.
On Saturday we had a bit of an adventure. We took Kandi's Aunt Patti, my mom and brother to go see the reception site. Neither of them had seen it before so it was fun to see it through their eyes for the first time. And while we knew it was awesome, it was still a bit of a relief to see that they all liked it too! And, in the week since we were last there they are building a new structure outside. It will be ready in the next week or two so we'll have lots of time to think about how we might use it in our grand plans! While we were there we got to see Emily, who we spoke with at the desk the first day, and she was excited for us to have secured a date too.
We then rushed off from there to a wedding dress shopping trip! My brother went home, and Kandi came in to watch us get all set up, and get a tour of the huge facility at Azteca Bridal, but walked outside for the actual search and try on parts. :) We're so traditional that way. We figured we'd be about 45 minutes.
We walked out of there two and a half hours later. We had no idea it had been that long. Kandi just about killed her phone's battery playing Angry Birds, but at least she had that to keep her busy. Well, that and the handy restaurant bar in the same plaza. Seriously, the bridal place should give all the future spouses a discount card. When we walked out there were 6-8 guys sitting there staring at the traffic as it went by for lack of anything else to do.
There were some great dresses and I found a few that I was surprised I liked. One in particular seemed really nice. The girl trying on dresses next to me said that another shop had it for even less - and conveniently I have an appointment there this week!
On Sunday, we had a wonderful development. Kandi's mom and Grandma called specifically to ask what colors we were using so they could work on finding color coordinating outfits. Both of them. This is kinda huge. Kandi's Grandma wasn't exactly hot on the idea of any non boy-girl wedding based on her religious beliefs. Early on, she expressed her doubts that she would be willing to attend. But more recently, she's talked with Kandi about what she's going to be wearing and even sent her a few catalogs. And now - she wants to pick out an outfit. That's the power of positive prayer right there! :)
So - we know we have a church. We know we have a reception spot. We know we'll have our family around us. Now everything else will fall into place, right?
Right?
I hear the laughter already from all the bridal websites I've read before.
Ok, it won't fall into place. There will be a huge amount of work and a huge amount of money that we still don't know where it will all come from and yet - we know that we have the important pieces. The rest is just details.
Many.
Many. Many details.
Showing posts with label Setbacks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Setbacks. Show all posts
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
A month at a glance - a long glance....
Really kicking myself now that I didn't write all the other times that I kept meaning to do so! So many little things have happened - nothing huge like a job or anything - but all those little things need to get mentioned so... buckle in because it's going to be a long ride! I'll try to put this in some sort of order as it happened - but can't make any promises.
1 - Found a new venue we love
Not saying that this is THE venue as everything will end up being based on the budget we have after I get a job - but it was a really cool space that could be really amazing. It is at *gasp!* a Golf Club. I know, I know... we didn't think that we would love it. They were doing a vendor meet and we figured we'd check it out and maybe find another vendor we liked. Some of the vendors were cool - but it was all about the venue! So the place is Foothills Golf Club. Our church is on one side of South Mountain and this location is pretty much exactly on the other side of the mountain. It's about a 35 minute drive or so, so not too bad. The pictures on the site are good, but it is SO much better in person. There are views of the beautiful mountains from both sides of the reception space - with huge areas for cocktails and general gathering on both of those sides. It would be SO amazing to have something here where you could be there to watch the sun go down as it's one of the best views I've ever seen - save directly on top of South Mountain. The reception space is spacious and gives us everything we'd ever really wanted.
But then, as we were getting our tour around, after feeling like we'd already seen it all, she said, "Have you seen our theater?". Theater? Why no, we haven't. So we go. As I walk in the door I see it. A stage. Small, but very real with velvet curtains on the sides and old school theater seating in front for about 100-150 people. Before I can even get out my "Can I go stand on the stage?" comment I'm walking up the stairs on the side of the stage. I don't care how small it is - there is nothing at all like being on a stage to me. If she had handed me a pen at that moment I might have signed a contract before my head cleared. I was in love. Kandi was amused. She only recently learned of my affinity for stages, but had never really seen me "go there".
Now, the reason this was extra interesting is that we still weren't sure if we would be able to have our ceremony at the church so seeing this awesome non-traditional ceremony spot was a huge bonus to a location we had already both admitted was firmly in our top 3. Even if we didn't do our ceremony there, there was a giant movie screen there that would allow us to show all sorts of cool things - from a "home movie" sort of thing to just fun power point picture presentations. And no extra charge to use it. It's just part of the space. BONUS! :)
2 - Do we have a church?
Several weeks later, we had our Church's Annual Meeting. There were only about 10 of us present, not uncommon for such a small church, and we were doing it after our fellowship time after service. While several of us were sitting at the same table, something came up where I happened to mention my conversation with Pastor Barb from several weeks before where there was some doubt as to if they might be staying through the end of the year. They hadn't heard that really implied and talked a bit about that. I mentioned that my main reason for concern was because when they left the next minister would be United Methodist and they were unable to do such ceremonies.
And this, this is why I love my church. The reaction at that exact moment. Sitting there with 4 women aged from their late 50's to their late 80's was unanimous.
Simply put they said, "He-e-e-e-e-e-e-ell no!"
All of them were immediately talking and while I couldn't repeat them all now, as much as I would have wanted to, they were all very very clear on the fact that there was nothing that could stop me from having that ceremony in that church. Jeanie, the strongest spunkiest 80-something I've ever known, put it to me quite plainly after the immediate ruckus of voices had died down. Unlike some churches, she said, where the pastor or minister rules the church and all it does - in this church the rules are made by the members. The laypeople are 100% in charge. The pastoral staff may get a voice, but they do not get a vote. While she can't guarantee me that I can get Pastor Barb if she's in another state, she can guarantee me that I will have my ceremony in my church.
It makes me so proud to be a member there. And so happy to have these spunky folks in my life.
3 - Vendor frustration
I had been contacted by a DJ Company that they were doing some huge mock reception with tons of vendors. So, I RSVP'd and that night Kandi came home from work, we threw down some quick dinner and drove the 45 minutes to the venue. About 10 minutes after we handed the valet our keys, we were asking for them back again. The whole thing was a bust. The DJ's weren't there. There was some fruit, cheese and crackers but no one from a catering group. There were tables set up by the hotel. There was a linens vendor who had put different linens on each table and a floral vendor who had put an arrangement on each table. And some vendor who wanted you to pay for them to print you something about what your last name means with a family crest.
Seriously? We drove 45 minutes for that??? It was such a waste. Waste of money and of time. First time we'd had such an experience - but I'm absolutely going to be more careful about which ones we go to in the future.
4 - The Dress
I went to try on wedding dresses for the first time. I went to Strut Bridal where they specialize in sizes 12+. It was great to go without worrying that I wouldn't fit into any of the dresses. I admitted that I had no idea what I wanted and couldn't picture what kind of a dress I wanted to wear so I tried on one of each body type to try to narrow it down a bit. After trying them on I don't think I'm going to be quite that easy unfortunately. My favorites were at two different ends of the dress spectrum - a ballroom style (though NOT a poofy dress) and a trumpet (body hugging until just under the hips). Both were strapless and I'd felt that the one thing I was sure of is that I didn't want a strapless dress. Guess what - I liked them both. One was about $550 and the other about $775 so they would be considered reasonably priced too. It's still hard for me to picture spending over $100 on an outfit (including shoes) but I'm really trying to accept that this is just one of those times. Then again, if I don't get a job soon it may be jeans, white t-shirt and a veil. Though I do kinda like that idea.....
5 - Reality check by Mr. Scale
A few years ago, I decided I wanted to be healthy. Kandi could eat what she wanted, but I was going to do better. And I did. Over 8 months or so I lost about 45lbs. Then, I lost my job. Then 3 jobs later I'm in a high stress job working 16 hours a day and traveling all over the place. Who has time to cut up vegetables for dinner? So, I gained back about 15 of it that year. Then I got laid off at one of the worst points ever in the economy. There were no jobs out there, but I was looking. And eating cheap food. Cheap was more important than healthy. So I gained a few pounds. And then the next job had me working nights and my schedule went even more off. So here I am, having gained back 25 of the 45 I'd lost and I'm again out of a job - but now I'm engaged. I've been saying "healthy" out loud, but being more focused on "cheap" and "makes us feel good" food.
Cut to a few weeks ago. Kandi and I have been "talking" about being healthy. "Talking" about losing weight before the ceremony. But that's all it had been as one healthy meal would be followed by 2 less healthy ones. Until one day something popped in my head and I did some math. Between then and October 1st, if we each lost just 1.5lbs a week - we would both be at our goal weights. Well, not the "dream" goals, but the first serious "goal" numbers we'd had when we talked long ago (and would have had much more time to lose if we'd been serious about it then) about where we would like to be to feel healthy. 1.5? That's actually a healthy amount to lose. it's actually do-able. I mentioned it to Kandi and she signed on - so I made a spreadsheet. Of course. If you know me you know I spreadsheet just about anything.
So we're just 2 weeks in, but so far I'm on goal. Kandi is only about .5 behind, but I think she can make it up this week. We're eating healthy. We're using the treadmill. For the Superbowl we snacked on fresh vegetables and hummus. Really. I don't know if we'll actually hit our goals - but I'm really happy that we're both working on them together.
Moving into the next few weeks - I've been offered a part time job that will pay as much as being on unemployment - and less after taxes. But, I'm hoping I might be able to do that even after I get a full time gig to help out since I'm sure any full time gig will pay far less then I've been getting. And I'm willing to do my part. So, I'm quite tempted to take it. I need to pretty much make my final decision tomorrow. Tomorrow I am also going to the community college to see how many credits I have from when I went a million years ago as I'd like to go back to school. Oh - and also tomorrow we'll be going to another wedding vendor meet up.
Tomorrow is going to be busy! Head up and walk fast. Every step is one step closer to the life we want to lead together. Even if it does get a bit topsy-turvey around here - I am happy and so lucky to be here!
Until next time!
1 - Found a new venue we love
Not saying that this is THE venue as everything will end up being based on the budget we have after I get a job - but it was a really cool space that could be really amazing. It is at *gasp!* a Golf Club. I know, I know... we didn't think that we would love it. They were doing a vendor meet and we figured we'd check it out and maybe find another vendor we liked. Some of the vendors were cool - but it was all about the venue! So the place is Foothills Golf Club. Our church is on one side of South Mountain and this location is pretty much exactly on the other side of the mountain. It's about a 35 minute drive or so, so not too bad. The pictures on the site are good, but it is SO much better in person. There are views of the beautiful mountains from both sides of the reception space - with huge areas for cocktails and general gathering on both of those sides. It would be SO amazing to have something here where you could be there to watch the sun go down as it's one of the best views I've ever seen - save directly on top of South Mountain. The reception space is spacious and gives us everything we'd ever really wanted.
But then, as we were getting our tour around, after feeling like we'd already seen it all, she said, "Have you seen our theater?". Theater? Why no, we haven't. So we go. As I walk in the door I see it. A stage. Small, but very real with velvet curtains on the sides and old school theater seating in front for about 100-150 people. Before I can even get out my "Can I go stand on the stage?" comment I'm walking up the stairs on the side of the stage. I don't care how small it is - there is nothing at all like being on a stage to me. If she had handed me a pen at that moment I might have signed a contract before my head cleared. I was in love. Kandi was amused. She only recently learned of my affinity for stages, but had never really seen me "go there".
Now, the reason this was extra interesting is that we still weren't sure if we would be able to have our ceremony at the church so seeing this awesome non-traditional ceremony spot was a huge bonus to a location we had already both admitted was firmly in our top 3. Even if we didn't do our ceremony there, there was a giant movie screen there that would allow us to show all sorts of cool things - from a "home movie" sort of thing to just fun power point picture presentations. And no extra charge to use it. It's just part of the space. BONUS! :)
2 - Do we have a church?
Several weeks later, we had our Church's Annual Meeting. There were only about 10 of us present, not uncommon for such a small church, and we were doing it after our fellowship time after service. While several of us were sitting at the same table, something came up where I happened to mention my conversation with Pastor Barb from several weeks before where there was some doubt as to if they might be staying through the end of the year. They hadn't heard that really implied and talked a bit about that. I mentioned that my main reason for concern was because when they left the next minister would be United Methodist and they were unable to do such ceremonies.
And this, this is why I love my church. The reaction at that exact moment. Sitting there with 4 women aged from their late 50's to their late 80's was unanimous.
Simply put they said, "He-e-e-e-e-e-e-ell no!"
All of them were immediately talking and while I couldn't repeat them all now, as much as I would have wanted to, they were all very very clear on the fact that there was nothing that could stop me from having that ceremony in that church. Jeanie, the strongest spunkiest 80-something I've ever known, put it to me quite plainly after the immediate ruckus of voices had died down. Unlike some churches, she said, where the pastor or minister rules the church and all it does - in this church the rules are made by the members. The laypeople are 100% in charge. The pastoral staff may get a voice, but they do not get a vote. While she can't guarantee me that I can get Pastor Barb if she's in another state, she can guarantee me that I will have my ceremony in my church.
It makes me so proud to be a member there. And so happy to have these spunky folks in my life.
3 - Vendor frustration
I had been contacted by a DJ Company that they were doing some huge mock reception with tons of vendors. So, I RSVP'd and that night Kandi came home from work, we threw down some quick dinner and drove the 45 minutes to the venue. About 10 minutes after we handed the valet our keys, we were asking for them back again. The whole thing was a bust. The DJ's weren't there. There was some fruit, cheese and crackers but no one from a catering group. There were tables set up by the hotel. There was a linens vendor who had put different linens on each table and a floral vendor who had put an arrangement on each table. And some vendor who wanted you to pay for them to print you something about what your last name means with a family crest.
Seriously? We drove 45 minutes for that??? It was such a waste. Waste of money and of time. First time we'd had such an experience - but I'm absolutely going to be more careful about which ones we go to in the future.
4 - The Dress
I went to try on wedding dresses for the first time. I went to Strut Bridal where they specialize in sizes 12+. It was great to go without worrying that I wouldn't fit into any of the dresses. I admitted that I had no idea what I wanted and couldn't picture what kind of a dress I wanted to wear so I tried on one of each body type to try to narrow it down a bit. After trying them on I don't think I'm going to be quite that easy unfortunately. My favorites were at two different ends of the dress spectrum - a ballroom style (though NOT a poofy dress) and a trumpet (body hugging until just under the hips). Both were strapless and I'd felt that the one thing I was sure of is that I didn't want a strapless dress. Guess what - I liked them both. One was about $550 and the other about $775 so they would be considered reasonably priced too. It's still hard for me to picture spending over $100 on an outfit (including shoes) but I'm really trying to accept that this is just one of those times. Then again, if I don't get a job soon it may be jeans, white t-shirt and a veil. Though I do kinda like that idea.....
5 - Reality check by Mr. Scale
A few years ago, I decided I wanted to be healthy. Kandi could eat what she wanted, but I was going to do better. And I did. Over 8 months or so I lost about 45lbs. Then, I lost my job. Then 3 jobs later I'm in a high stress job working 16 hours a day and traveling all over the place. Who has time to cut up vegetables for dinner? So, I gained back about 15 of it that year. Then I got laid off at one of the worst points ever in the economy. There were no jobs out there, but I was looking. And eating cheap food. Cheap was more important than healthy. So I gained a few pounds. And then the next job had me working nights and my schedule went even more off. So here I am, having gained back 25 of the 45 I'd lost and I'm again out of a job - but now I'm engaged. I've been saying "healthy" out loud, but being more focused on "cheap" and "makes us feel good" food.
Cut to a few weeks ago. Kandi and I have been "talking" about being healthy. "Talking" about losing weight before the ceremony. But that's all it had been as one healthy meal would be followed by 2 less healthy ones. Until one day something popped in my head and I did some math. Between then and October 1st, if we each lost just 1.5lbs a week - we would both be at our goal weights. Well, not the "dream" goals, but the first serious "goal" numbers we'd had when we talked long ago (and would have had much more time to lose if we'd been serious about it then) about where we would like to be to feel healthy. 1.5? That's actually a healthy amount to lose. it's actually do-able. I mentioned it to Kandi and she signed on - so I made a spreadsheet. Of course. If you know me you know I spreadsheet just about anything.
So we're just 2 weeks in, but so far I'm on goal. Kandi is only about .5 behind, but I think she can make it up this week. We're eating healthy. We're using the treadmill. For the Superbowl we snacked on fresh vegetables and hummus. Really. I don't know if we'll actually hit our goals - but I'm really happy that we're both working on them together.
Moving into the next few weeks - I've been offered a part time job that will pay as much as being on unemployment - and less after taxes. But, I'm hoping I might be able to do that even after I get a full time gig to help out since I'm sure any full time gig will pay far less then I've been getting. And I'm willing to do my part. So, I'm quite tempted to take it. I need to pretty much make my final decision tomorrow. Tomorrow I am also going to the community college to see how many credits I have from when I went a million years ago as I'd like to go back to school. Oh - and also tomorrow we'll be going to another wedding vendor meet up.
Tomorrow is going to be busy! Head up and walk fast. Every step is one step closer to the life we want to lead together. Even if it does get a bit topsy-turvey around here - I am happy and so lucky to be here!
Until next time!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Here and there and back again
This weekend we'd planned to be in Las Vegas helping our friend celebrate her 40th birthday. A few weeks ago, those plans changed. First, we realized that it was the weekend of the biggest Bridal show in the city and we know how amazing it can be to find a new potential vendor. Then, we found out that Pastor Barb would be leaving the church to take a 6 month assignment at another church. This is great for them as our church has been struggling financially so as a husband/wife team they have been making less than what one normal salary would be. Getting 6 months of regular salary is great for her, and there is some savings for our church as well. While she is leaving, her husband Pastor Rich will stepping up to be lead pastor. We were told that this weekend would be her last leading the congregation. So, we decided that Kandi would go to Las Vegas - her favorite place - and I would stay here to attend the Bridal show and see off Pastor Barb.
When we first heard about Pastor Barb leaving, while we were certainly disappointment our only real concern was that she would still be able to perform the ceremony while Rich was the lead pastor just in case that 6 month appointment was extended. We found out that as long as Rich was there, she could easily do it, so we were ok. Then, today things took on a whole new turn.
I happened to walk out of the sanctuary with her at the end of the service and joked with her that she would be terribly missed but was allowed to be gone as long as she needed and go as far as she wanted as long as she came back to do our union ceremony. While she initially laughed back, in her reply things actually took a serious turn. She started talking about what might happen if there was another pastor in place and how there are some ethics issues to be considered. In my head I was shocked - after all, wouldn't her husband still be pastor here? Surely he wouldn't be concerned, right? I posed a question and found that she was actually talking about what it might be like if they were BOTH gone. I have to say that was something we'd never considered. We have a date less than a year away that we'd shared with them and this was the first time there was a hint that they neither of them would be there. The more we talked we realized there was another much larger issue.
Our church was created when two churches of different denominations merged. These denominations are United Church of Christ and United Methodist. Pastor's Barb and Rich are UCC but if they were both to leave then per the charter a United Methodist pastor would be selected. There is a huge debate in the UM denomination going for the last few years about the ability of the church to be open to gay individuals in ministry, marriage or any other commitment ceremony. Officially as of right now gay individuals can not be ministers and should a pastor perform a ceremony (be it union or a legal marriage in a state where it is allowed) for a gay couple they can get in some serious hot water.
In one 10 minute conversation I went from happy to.....I don't even have a good word. The one thing we knew was that we wanted the ceremony in the church and with Pastor Barb. Now - it appears that if we want to ensure that happens - we need to plan it before June. But even if I got a job in the next month - that's highly unlikely since in Arizona no one wants to do a June wedding. Heck, May is even pretty warm. We'd be talking about an April wedding. 3 months away? Yea, I don't see that happening. And if not that - then what?
It was here. Then it was gone. And I may not know until May or June if I can get it back.
Oh yea - I went to the Bridal show yesterday. I scheduled an appointment to actually go in and try on wedding dresses this week. I was excited.
I was. Now....
Now I'm a bit less so.
When we first heard about Pastor Barb leaving, while we were certainly disappointment our only real concern was that she would still be able to perform the ceremony while Rich was the lead pastor just in case that 6 month appointment was extended. We found out that as long as Rich was there, she could easily do it, so we were ok. Then, today things took on a whole new turn.
I happened to walk out of the sanctuary with her at the end of the service and joked with her that she would be terribly missed but was allowed to be gone as long as she needed and go as far as she wanted as long as she came back to do our union ceremony. While she initially laughed back, in her reply things actually took a serious turn. She started talking about what might happen if there was another pastor in place and how there are some ethics issues to be considered. In my head I was shocked - after all, wouldn't her husband still be pastor here? Surely he wouldn't be concerned, right? I posed a question and found that she was actually talking about what it might be like if they were BOTH gone. I have to say that was something we'd never considered. We have a date less than a year away that we'd shared with them and this was the first time there was a hint that they neither of them would be there. The more we talked we realized there was another much larger issue.
Our church was created when two churches of different denominations merged. These denominations are United Church of Christ and United Methodist. Pastor's Barb and Rich are UCC but if they were both to leave then per the charter a United Methodist pastor would be selected. There is a huge debate in the UM denomination going for the last few years about the ability of the church to be open to gay individuals in ministry, marriage or any other commitment ceremony. Officially as of right now gay individuals can not be ministers and should a pastor perform a ceremony (be it union or a legal marriage in a state where it is allowed) for a gay couple they can get in some serious hot water.
In one 10 minute conversation I went from happy to.....I don't even have a good word. The one thing we knew was that we wanted the ceremony in the church and with Pastor Barb. Now - it appears that if we want to ensure that happens - we need to plan it before June. But even if I got a job in the next month - that's highly unlikely since in Arizona no one wants to do a June wedding. Heck, May is even pretty warm. We'd be talking about an April wedding. 3 months away? Yea, I don't see that happening. And if not that - then what?
It was here. Then it was gone. And I may not know until May or June if I can get it back.
Oh yea - I went to the Bridal show yesterday. I scheduled an appointment to actually go in and try on wedding dresses this week. I was excited.
I was. Now....
Now I'm a bit less so.
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