The shortest month flew by!

We won an engagement shoot! Well, actually we didn't. And yet we did.

We generally both fall into the "we never win anything" category so when they called my name at the bridal show while we were chatting with the photographer we were both shocked. I walked up and found out I'd won a $25 gift certificate for the bakery that was there. It was really yummy too! So we kept chatting with the photographer and generally getting to know her. Then someone who had won an engagement shoot walked over to talk to the photographer. Not only did she already have an engagement shoot planned for the next day, but she was getting all of her photography for free. The photographer turned around and gave it to us!

Our shoot was the Friday before Valentine's day and it included professional make up - which was fun for us to try. Yes - I said US! :) The photographer is hoping to have the proofs available for us to check out this week, but in the mean time we have this photo that our friend Brian snapped when we stopped by after dinner so he could get a picture of us in all of our cuteness.


And we are cute, aren't we?

I had gigantic fake eyelashes and a bit more blush than I would do again.

Kandi, while not a fan of the stuff all over her face, commented that she really liked her eye make up. Not that she's going to do it again when we go to the movies, but she might be open for trying something like that, though a bit more subtle, for the ceremony.


Ah, the ceremony. The realization that if I want a dress in October I'd have to order it in 2 weeks is very much not lost on me. Even if I got a job tomorrow, is that where we'd want to put our money right now? It's tough. We talked a bit about pushing out the date until next spring. neither of us want to do it, but if we want to have even 40% of the things we've talked about over the last 10 years we're likely going to need to push the date or win the lottery.

You can't win if you don't play, right?

I did take that part time job and I started on Monday. The week before that I had an interview for a position I'd be amazing at and would love to have - and I'm supposed to hear something by end of this week. No pressure, right? Ok, lots of pressure. But I know that I've done everything I can and now it's all in their hands so I can't obsess over it. It will or it wont happen.

Eating healthy hasn't been so good. I made my goals for about 3 weeks but certain "times" have made us really want convenience food and hours spent curled up on the couch. We haven't been at our dietary best to be sure. I'm hoping to bounce back shortly before I we go right back to where we were.

We also went to another big bridal show where we got to take lots of pictures together in photo booths. Our printer/scanner is being icky right now, but I'll post those and share our quickie reviews as soon as we can make it all work! We looked SO cute! But of course, right? :)

A month at a glance - a long glance....

Really kicking myself now that I didn't write all the other times that I kept meaning to do so! So many little things have happened - nothing huge like a job or anything - but all those little things need to get mentioned so... buckle in because it's going to be a long ride! I'll try to put this in some sort of order as it happened - but can't make any promises.

1 - Found a new venue we love
Not saying that this is THE venue as everything will end up being based on the budget we have after I get a job - but it was a really cool space that could be really amazing. It is at *gasp!* a Golf Club. I know, I know... we didn't think that we would love it. They were doing a vendor meet and we figured we'd check it out and maybe find another vendor we liked. Some of the vendors were cool - but it was all about the venue! So the place is Foothills Golf Club. Our church is on one side of South Mountain and this location is pretty much exactly on the other side of the mountain. It's about a 35 minute drive or so, so not too bad. The pictures on the site are good, but it is SO much better in person. There are views of the beautiful mountains from both sides of the reception space - with huge areas for cocktails and general gathering on both of those sides. It would be SO amazing to have something here where you could be there to watch the sun go down as it's one of the best views I've ever seen - save directly on top of South Mountain. The reception space is spacious and gives us everything we'd ever really wanted.

But then, as we were getting our tour around, after feeling like we'd already seen it all, she said, "Have you seen our theater?". Theater? Why no, we haven't. So we go. As I walk in the door I see it. A stage. Small, but very real with velvet curtains on the sides and old school theater seating in front for about 100-150 people. Before I can even get out my "Can I go stand on the stage?" comment I'm walking up the stairs on the side of the stage. I don't care how small it is - there is nothing at all like being on a stage to me. If she had handed me a pen at that moment I might have signed a contract before my head cleared. I was in love. Kandi was amused. She only recently learned of my affinity for stages, but had never really seen me "go there".

Now, the reason this was extra interesting is that we still weren't sure if we would be able to have our ceremony at the church so seeing this awesome non-traditional ceremony spot was a huge bonus to a location we had already both admitted was firmly in our top 3. Even if we didn't do our ceremony there, there was a giant movie screen there that would allow us to show all sorts of cool things - from a "home movie" sort of thing to just fun power point picture presentations. And no extra charge to use it. It's just part of the space. BONUS! :)

2 - Do we have a church?
Several weeks later, we had our Church's Annual Meeting. There were only about 10 of us present, not uncommon for such a small church, and we were doing it after our fellowship time after service. While several of us were sitting at the same table, something came up where I happened to mention my conversation with Pastor Barb from several weeks before where there was some doubt as to if they might be staying through the end of the year. They hadn't heard that really implied and talked a bit about that. I mentioned that my main reason for concern was because when they left the next minister would be United Methodist and they were unable to do such ceremonies.

And this, this is why I love my church. The reaction at that exact moment. Sitting there with 4 women aged from their late 50's to their late 80's was unanimous.

Simply put they said, "He-e-e-e-e-e-e-ell no!"

All of them were immediately talking and while I couldn't repeat them all now, as much as I would have wanted to, they were all very very clear on the fact that there was nothing that could stop me from having that ceremony in that church. Jeanie, the strongest spunkiest 80-something I've ever known, put it to me quite plainly after the immediate ruckus of voices had died down. Unlike some churches, she said, where the pastor or minister rules the church and all it does - in this church the rules are made by the members. The laypeople are 100% in charge. The pastoral staff may get a voice, but they do not get a vote. While she can't guarantee me that I can get Pastor Barb if she's in another state, she can guarantee me that I will have my ceremony in my church.

It makes me so proud to be a member there. And so happy to have these spunky folks in my life.

3 - Vendor frustration
I had been contacted by a DJ Company that they were doing some huge mock reception with tons of vendors. So, I RSVP'd and that night Kandi came home from work, we threw down some quick dinner and drove the 45 minutes to the venue. About 10 minutes after we handed the valet our keys, we were asking for them back again. The whole thing was a bust. The DJ's weren't there. There was some fruit, cheese and crackers but no one from a catering group. There were tables set up by the hotel. There was a linens vendor who had put different linens on each table and a floral vendor who had put an arrangement on each table. And some vendor who wanted you to pay for them to print you something about what your last name means with a family crest.

Seriously? We drove 45 minutes for that??? It was such a waste. Waste of money and of time. First time we'd had such an experience - but I'm absolutely going to be more careful about which ones we go to in the future.

4 - The Dress
I went to try on wedding dresses for the first time. I went to Strut Bridal where they specialize in sizes 12+. It was great to go without worrying that I wouldn't fit into any of the dresses. I admitted that I had no idea what I wanted and couldn't picture what kind of a dress I wanted to wear so I tried on one of each body type to try to narrow it down a bit. After trying them on I don't think I'm going to be quite that easy unfortunately. My favorites were at two different ends of the dress spectrum - a ballroom style (though NOT a poofy dress) and a trumpet (body hugging until just under the hips). Both were strapless and I'd felt that the one thing I was sure of is that I didn't want a strapless dress. Guess what - I liked them both. One was about $550 and the other about $775 so they would be considered reasonably priced too. It's still hard for me to picture spending over $100 on an outfit (including shoes) but I'm really trying to accept that this is just one of those times. Then again, if I don't get a job soon it may be jeans, white t-shirt and a veil. Though I do kinda like that idea.....

5 - Reality check by Mr. Scale
A few years ago, I decided I wanted to be healthy. Kandi could eat what she wanted, but I was going to do better. And I did. Over 8 months or so I lost about 45lbs. Then, I lost my job. Then 3 jobs later I'm in a high stress job working 16 hours a day and traveling all over the place. Who has time to cut up vegetables for dinner? So, I gained back about 15 of it that year. Then I got laid off at one of the worst points ever in the economy. There were no jobs out there, but I was looking. And eating cheap food. Cheap was more important than healthy. So I gained a few pounds. And then the next job had me working nights and my schedule went even more off. So here I am, having gained back 25 of the 45 I'd lost and I'm again out of a job - but now I'm engaged. I've been saying "healthy" out loud, but being more focused on "cheap" and "makes us feel good" food.

Cut to a few weeks ago. Kandi and I have been "talking" about being healthy. "Talking" about losing weight before the ceremony. But that's all it had been as one healthy meal would be followed by 2 less healthy ones. Until one day something popped in my head and I did some math. Between then and October 1st, if we each lost just 1.5lbs a week - we would both be at our goal weights. Well, not the "dream" goals, but the first serious "goal" numbers we'd had when we talked long ago (and would have had much more time to lose if we'd been serious about it then) about where we would like to be to feel healthy. 1.5? That's actually a healthy amount to lose. it's actually do-able. I mentioned it to Kandi and she signed on - so I made a spreadsheet. Of course. If you know me you know I spreadsheet just about anything.

So we're just 2 weeks in, but so far I'm on goal. Kandi is only about .5 behind, but I think she can make it up this week. We're eating healthy. We're using the treadmill. For the Superbowl we snacked on fresh vegetables and hummus. Really. I don't know if we'll actually hit our goals - but I'm really happy that we're both working on them together.

Moving into the next few weeks - I've been offered a part time job that will pay as much as being on unemployment - and less after taxes. But, I'm hoping I might be able to do that even after I get a full time gig to help out since I'm sure any full time gig will pay far less then I've been getting. And I'm willing to do my part. So, I'm quite tempted to take it. I need to pretty much make my final decision tomorrow. Tomorrow I am also going to the community college to see how many credits I have from when I went a million years ago as I'd like to go back to school. Oh - and also tomorrow we'll be going to another wedding vendor meet up.

Tomorrow is going to be busy! Head up and walk fast. Every step is one step closer to the life we want to lead together. Even if it does get a bit topsy-turvey around here - I am happy and so lucky to be here!

Until next time!

Here and there and back again

This weekend we'd planned to be in Las Vegas helping our friend celebrate her 40th birthday. A few weeks ago, those plans changed. First, we realized that it was the weekend of the biggest Bridal show in the city and we know how amazing it can be to find a new potential vendor. Then, we found out that Pastor Barb would be leaving the church to take a 6 month assignment at another church. This is great for them as our church has been struggling financially so as a husband/wife team they have been making less than what one normal salary would be. Getting 6 months of regular salary is great for her, and there is some savings for our church as well. While she is leaving, her husband Pastor Rich will stepping up to be lead pastor. We were told that this weekend would be her last leading the congregation. So, we decided that Kandi would go to Las Vegas - her favorite place - and I would stay here to attend the Bridal show and see off Pastor Barb.

When we first heard about Pastor Barb leaving, while we were certainly disappointment our only real concern was that she would still be able to perform the ceremony while Rich was the lead pastor just in case that 6 month appointment was extended. We found out that as long as Rich was there, she could easily do it, so we were ok. Then, today things took on a whole new turn.

I happened to walk out of the sanctuary with her at the end of the service and joked with her that she would be terribly missed but was allowed to be gone as long as she needed and go as far as she wanted as long as she came back to do our union ceremony. While she initially laughed back, in her reply things actually took a serious turn. She started talking about what might happen if there was another pastor in place and how there are some ethics issues to be considered. In my head I was shocked - after all, wouldn't her husband still be pastor here? Surely he wouldn't be concerned, right? I posed a question and found that she was actually talking about what it might be like if they were BOTH gone. I have to say that was something we'd never considered. We have a date less than a year away that we'd shared with them and this was the first time there was a hint that they neither of them would be there. The more we talked we realized there was another much larger issue.

Our church was created when two churches of different denominations merged. These denominations are United Church of Christ and United Methodist. Pastor's Barb and Rich are UCC but if they were both to leave then per the charter a United Methodist pastor would be selected. There is a huge debate in the UM denomination going for the last few years about the ability of the church to be open to gay individuals in ministry, marriage or any other commitment ceremony. Officially as of right now gay individuals can not be ministers and should a pastor perform a ceremony (be it union or a legal marriage in a state where it is allowed) for a gay couple they can get in some serious hot water.

In one 10 minute conversation I went from happy to.....I don't even have a good word. The one thing we knew was that we wanted the ceremony in the church and with Pastor Barb. Now - it appears that if we want to ensure that happens - we need to plan it before June. But even if I got a job in the next month - that's highly unlikely since in Arizona no one wants to do a June wedding. Heck, May is even pretty warm. We'd be talking about an April wedding. 3 months away? Yea, I don't see that happening. And if not that - then what?

It was here. Then it was gone. And I may not know until May or June if I can get it back.

Oh yea - I went to the Bridal show yesterday. I scheduled an appointment to actually go in and try on wedding dresses this week. I was excited.

I was. Now....

Now I'm a bit less so.

Good-bye 2010 and Hello 2011!

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

While our family grew up celebrating Christmas in very different ways, over the years we've created a few new traditions in how we celebrate the day. Our immediate family and an occasional friend come over on Christmas morning for breakfast, stockings and presents. We have kept my family tradition of opening gifts one at a time, youngest to oldest. While this slow pace has driven Kandi crazy over the years she has been great about accepting how important that is for us. We're still working out how to ensure everyone's traditions are incorporated - or if there are new traditions we want to start - but we have a lifetime for that!

Sadly, we found out on Sunday that our wonderful Pastor Barb will be leaving the church for a 6 month position with another church. Frankly, our church is struggling financially and she and her husband Pastor Rich were already sharing what would be less than half of one salary in most churches. This is a great opportunity for her financially, but puts a few questions into the air for us in terms of our ceremony as she may be asked to stay after the 6 month position expires which would mean that she was technically the pastor of another church during our planned ceremony time. Pastor Rich will move from a co-pastor/support role at our church to being the sole pastor, and while he is great we have a special bond with Pastor Barb and really want her to lead our ceremony. We'll have to make sure this can all work as planned when we see them next weekend.

Getting married in our church is so important for Kandi and I. Before Pastor Barb we didn't even know it was an option to have a Holy Union Ceremony at the church so it would be strange to even think about doing it without her. Just when we thought the pastor and the location was the one thing that was finalized and could never change...

We don't get the opportunity to really make any decisions about our big day until I'm employed so I'm not only feeling the pressure, but I'm also SO frustrated to not be able to make some decisions so we can start moving forward in planning. We've been engaged for 2 months and we're "saying" that the ceremony is 10 months away so of course folks keep asking about it, and I love their hopeful curiosity. It just makes it a bit tough harder on me because every conversation is a reminder that I don't have a job yet. When someone asks, "So, have you set a date yet?" with nothing but love and interest in their voice it's tough to answer, "We can't make any decisions until I have a job." Talk about Debbie Downer. We try to talk around it a bit. Mention that we've looked at quite a few places but just haven't made a decision. But when they start asking quite a few questions or talking about how we better nail down something soon I have had to explain that we would love to - but just can't until we know more about my future employment. Unfortunately, many folks that we have ultimately had to explain that we're at a pause point until I secure a job, will continue to ask again next time we see them. Yep, still can't make any decisions because I'm unemployed. Still can't get a job. Thanks for bringing it up. I know they certainly don't mean it that way and it's certainly not their fault. But it brings a bit of sadness to something that we want to just feel so happy and excited about.

January will be here soon. Three places have said that they should have some "movement" by the end of January so my fingers are firmly crossed.

Here's to the end of an amazing 2010 and to a wonderfully blessed new year to come!

New friends, new opportunities!

This weekend we went to a "Bridal Expo" this weekend that was organized by the amazing Bamboo Bakery. We have seen them at 2 other events and Kandi is head over heels for their Red Velvet cake. I loved their Banana - and love the idea as it's not your "standard" cake. As soon as I heard they would have 15 different cake flavors available for testing I knew we had to be there.

Rather than having to pay for entry because they were renting out some hotel space as many other events do, this event was held right in front of the shopping plaza where Bamboo Bakery and several other celebration themed vendors all have their retail homes. When we pulled up to the strip mall we initially thought - "well, it's small but at least there's cake" but boy were we wrong. There were more vendors at this event than any others we've gone to so far. We got there at 3:30pm and didn't leave until almost 7pm - just as the fashion shows were about to start. At that point we'd seen everything and were hungry so we had to go but we did get to see some of the models lining up as we walked to the car.

We found a florist that we really clicked with. The name of the company is Crazy Daisies Flowers and Gifts. Michelle, the owner/designer, and her husband were there and while she was chatting with us he was actively creating some arrangements in the background. I liked some of the ideas she had and they both liked one of the big ideas I had for the big day. Her husband even joked that they would be stealing that for a future event. She was almost finishing my sentences by the time we were done - we just clicked. While we haven't gone down the road of figuring out our budget yet for floral (again, job kinda comes first...), and we didn't ask Michelle much about her pricing, I think it's quite possible that we may have just found our florist. :)

We also met a really nice photographer. His company is SJA Studios. When I started talking to him he was just thinking "normal wedding". After Kandi walked back over from looking at another booth and I introduced her as my partner he got SO excited. He mentioned he had never done a same sex ceremony but he has 2 gay sisters. I think he was pretty excited about the idea. Heck, I think he was MORE excited about the idea of having us/me as a customer once he knew it was a same sex ceremony than he was when we would have just been a "normal" event. We will definitely put him into consideration when deciding our photographer.

One of the little booths/tables was a sign for "Indian and Arabic Henna". I have been absolutely fascinated by the detailed designs done on brides hands and feet in Indian tradition. Not only are the designs just incredible, but I think it's amazing that they often make it a major event in having this done with family and friends around contributing one more party to the pre-wedding festivities. I've heard that more and more western brides are incorporating something like this into their big day but I've been hesitant to do something like that. BUT - that sign said Arabic Henna... I'd never heard of Arabic Henna before and as someone who is half Arabic, I was intrigued. She showed me several designs explaining the differences in the style between Indian and Arabic styles. Briefly, Indian Henna is filled with tons of tiny little details and designs and is usually a golden to medium brown color. Arabic Henna is often a more organic flow with floral designs or inspiration from art incorporated into the design and it is generally a very dark brown to almost black color. So, she asked if I'd like to try it out. I give into my curiosity and, since I was wearing a long sleeve sweater, give her my hand. About 2-3 minutes later, she was done.

(Hours later after removing the dried application)

About a minute into her design I made the comment to Kandi that I was totally safe in getting this now as I wasn't likely to have any phone calls asking me to come in the next day for an interview.

Monday afternoon I got a call to come in for a Tuesday interview.

If I get this job, henna is officially my new lucky charm.

All in all a really good weekend with lots of new information - and the potential for an even better week! Fingers crossed!