Today is one of the days when everyone remembers the birth of our country, and they thank all of those who keep the country free. I agree with that, but I sometimes think the common scope of who we're thanking is a bit small.
I will never forget how it felt to stand in Arlington National Cemetery and look at the thousands of white headstones against the green rolling hills. To see all of those who have died in fighting for this country, and know there were many more who never made it home, or are elsewhere is really stirring. I will always appreciate everything done by the armed services of our country.
A few weeks ago something else happened in the country that was significant to many. New York's legislature voted to give allow same-sex marriage in their state. It was a close vote. They weren't sure it would make it. It took one brave voted official to change his mind, to go against what he said he stood for when he was elected, and to truly look not just into his heart but into the laws and legal rights for thousands of other people around the state. And he did. All of those who voted in the affirmative helped to move our country one step further to freedom.
In Arizona we voted twice on making same-sex marriage banned within our constitution. The first time my side won and the vote was denied. It was the first time in the country that it hadn't immediately won. We were so happy. We thought just maybe, one day, we might be able to get married after all. Then, a few years later they tried it again. This time, our side lost. It's practically impossible to remove something from our constitution so unless we move to another state, or country, we knew that we would likely never be able to legally marry unless something was changed at the national level. We hoped. We prayed. But then we decided we really wanted to do it.
Then Pastor Barb came forward, our ball got officially rolling and everyone in our world is talking about our big day. It's exciting. And we love every minute of it. But now and then I have to admit that there are times when we wish it could be just a bit more.
We're missing more than 1400 rights that our friends could get via a drive-through in Vegas. We've been together more than 10 years, share a loving home, and we are committing to our love in a church in front of God, family and friends. Shouldn't that give us something? 50 rights? 100 rights? If we're only half the citizens, give us just 1/2 the rights. Or maybe we should only pay 1/2 the taxes? After all, a recent law passed here makes it even harder for same sex couples to adopt so maybe gay people shouldn't have to pay for schools? Right? Honestly, I feel just the opposite. If there are people so ill informed about the world and the plight of those children who want homes, and couples who want to do nothing but show each other love then really we need to be paying a lot more attention to our educational system. I need to ensure that the future generations are smart enough to get us out of this mess. Ensure they are smart enough to see through past bias and fear and can keep their focus on the intent of the laws and the freedoms of the people.
So today, on July 4th, I'd like to send out a special thank you. Armed forces often share most of the well wishes on this special day, and of course the fighting they do for our freedom can never be forgotten. But also we should never forget those who fight for the freedoms of those in our courtrooms and in our legislatures. They may be forgotten in some circles, but their works impact each of us on a regular basis. Thank you to the teachers who are often the only ones who will ever share civics lessons with children in homes where these things aren't discussed at the family table. Thank you for lighting that fire within our students to make them better citizens. Thank you to the respectful protesters. Those who have important messages to share and do so without feeling that a "certain" mustache applied over someone's face is an appropriate image. Thank you to the police force who work hard to keep the city safe and ensure everyone has the right to live a peaceful life. And finally, thank you to the educated voters. Those who don't just vote the way someone told them to, or because the names have the right letter next to their names, but because they have looked into their options and are truly going with the person they believe will best deal with the issues that are important to them. If 10-20% more of the population did just that, we would have a terrifically different country indeed.
"Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves." Abraham Lincoln
"We must be free not because we claim freedom, but because we practice it." William Faulkner
Let freedom ring.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
There's an ap for that
One night we were out and I was watching Kandi play spades with friends, which I really enjoy. I was messing around with my phone, checking Facebook, looking at our wedding email address and then a thought popped in to my head.
"I wonder if they have any Wedding Aps?"
So I went to the little marketplace and typed in Wedding. Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds.
I was impressed. I figured I'd just look for fun. See if something jumped out at me.
Wedding countdown calendar? Sure, that could be fun. Downloaded it and while it was downloading I went back to watching the game.
A few days later we were meeting with a potential wedding coordinator and she asked how long until the wedding (instead of just asking for the date) and suddenly that ap popped into my mind. There is was. Just one click of a button and I could tell her exactly.
Crap.
As of this very second I we have 3 Months, 28 Days, 9 hours, 22 minutes and 37 seconds.
I DON'T NEED TO KNOW HOW MANY SECONDS!!!
NO ONE WILL EVER NEED TO KNOW THE SECONDS!!!
I don't need to be riveted as I watch the seconds tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick by. And then, it's gone. For every second you watch slip by, another minute is right behind it. And soon the days are falling past us and we wonder where the time went.
I haven't deleted the ap.
I know, call me a masochist. Tell me I'm crazy.
But you know what - I can't get rid of the hope that there is going to be a time when I see that time and instead of thinking "oh crap!" I get excited. When all of the planning is done. When there is nothing left for us to do but get our hair done, put on something pretty and pledge our love forever and ever in front of folks who will hold us to it.
That time may not come until we're down to less than 12 hours away. Down to when our new wedding coordinator Shelly are firmly in control of the reins and we can just sit back and enjoy the moment. And at that moment I will be more and more excited for every little tick, tick, tick.
PS. Want to be similarly riveted? Scroll to the bottom of the page...
"I wonder if they have any Wedding Aps?"
So I went to the little marketplace and typed in Wedding. Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds.
I was impressed. I figured I'd just look for fun. See if something jumped out at me.
Wedding countdown calendar? Sure, that could be fun. Downloaded it and while it was downloading I went back to watching the game.
A few days later we were meeting with a potential wedding coordinator and she asked how long until the wedding (instead of just asking for the date) and suddenly that ap popped into my mind. There is was. Just one click of a button and I could tell her exactly.
Crap.
As of this very second I we have 3 Months, 28 Days, 9 hours, 22 minutes and 37 seconds.
I DON'T NEED TO KNOW HOW MANY SECONDS!!!
NO ONE WILL EVER NEED TO KNOW THE SECONDS!!!
I don't need to be riveted as I watch the seconds tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick by. And then, it's gone. For every second you watch slip by, another minute is right behind it. And soon the days are falling past us and we wonder where the time went.
I haven't deleted the ap.
I know, call me a masochist. Tell me I'm crazy.
But you know what - I can't get rid of the hope that there is going to be a time when I see that time and instead of thinking "oh crap!" I get excited. When all of the planning is done. When there is nothing left for us to do but get our hair done, put on something pretty and pledge our love forever and ever in front of folks who will hold us to it.
That time may not come until we're down to less than 12 hours away. Down to when our new wedding coordinator Shelly are firmly in control of the reins and we can just sit back and enjoy the moment. And at that moment I will be more and more excited for every little tick, tick, tick.
PS. Want to be similarly riveted? Scroll to the bottom of the page...
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Where did the time go?
How is it 3 weeks have gone by already??? Time is fly fly flying by - and that is NOT a good thing when you are trying to do so much planning.
One reason for the time slippage is that we went to Ohio for the Memorial Day weekend for a graduation celebration for Kandi's cousin. It was really great to be able to catch up with friends and family. And of course, talk about the ceremony. Lots and lots - which is always fun for us! We have many folks who are going to try to make the trip and it would be great to get to see them.
We officially received the contract from our reception venue. That had a few bumps in the road that we needed to work out but as of yesterday we got the confirmation that it should be smooth sailing! Woo hoo!
So as of today we have deposits/contracts out on our florist, photographer, bartender, venue and by the end of the week we will have one out for our caterer as well. Then hopefully in the next few weeks we can make a decision on a "Day of Coordinator" because we realized that no matter what we want to do or wish we could do, we just can't be in two places at once. We can't be at the venue making sure stuff is getting ready AND be at the church at the same time. We even have a really strong lead on a seamstress for Kandi's outfit!
It's exciting to think that the "major" planning will soon be over! Of course, this means that the really major planning it still to come. We've been looking into doing electronic RSVPs and we need to figure that out before we can send the invites, but of course before that we have to send the goodies we got for Save the Dates. All the tiny paper goods details can be almost mind numbing. And then there's the details of what the ceremony itself will include. What DIY projects we've been looking at that we will decide to undertake. All of those little details that don't seem like much, but when applied consistently could be like Chinese water torture - IF you weren't doing it with someone you love so very much and laughing about it the whole time.
Luckily, we are. :)
One reason for the time slippage is that we went to Ohio for the Memorial Day weekend for a graduation celebration for Kandi's cousin. It was really great to be able to catch up with friends and family. And of course, talk about the ceremony. Lots and lots - which is always fun for us! We have many folks who are going to try to make the trip and it would be great to get to see them.
We officially received the contract from our reception venue. That had a few bumps in the road that we needed to work out but as of yesterday we got the confirmation that it should be smooth sailing! Woo hoo!
So as of today we have deposits/contracts out on our florist, photographer, bartender, venue and by the end of the week we will have one out for our caterer as well. Then hopefully in the next few weeks we can make a decision on a "Day of Coordinator" because we realized that no matter what we want to do or wish we could do, we just can't be in two places at once. We can't be at the venue making sure stuff is getting ready AND be at the church at the same time. We even have a really strong lead on a seamstress for Kandi's outfit!
It's exciting to think that the "major" planning will soon be over! Of course, this means that the really major planning it still to come. We've been looking into doing electronic RSVPs and we need to figure that out before we can send the invites, but of course before that we have to send the goodies we got for Save the Dates. All the tiny paper goods details can be almost mind numbing. And then there's the details of what the ceremony itself will include. What DIY projects we've been looking at that we will decide to undertake. All of those little details that don't seem like much, but when applied consistently could be like Chinese water torture - IF you weren't doing it with someone you love so very much and laughing about it the whole time.
Luckily, we are. :)
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
A TV Wedding rant
You know what we're sick of? We're sick of people on wedding shows talking about how they have to do everything cheap and DIY because they have a budget of JUST $25,000. And then we hear they only have 50 people coming. We're sick of the girl who is complaining about how hard it is to plan her wedding when she has hired professionals for most every part of it, daddy is paying the insanely high bill, and she quit her job so she could focus on the wedding. But it's SO hard. And we are sick to death of the bridal shows that have carving stations and sushi and stir-fry asian food, and build your own mashed potato bars and more food that some families see in a month FOR THEIR HAPPY HOUR and the guests say that happy hour was "just ok".
Seriously people. When did it become socially unacceptable to have a simple wedding? When did everyone decide they had to be a princess? When did we decide that we would just all go into debt to the bride could have "her day"? When did this become the norm? Heck, when did it become remotely acceptable to blow that much money and have that much waste for one fricking day? Not even a whole day. Most weddings last less than half of a day. In less than half of a day you are blowing through more money than many of the folks working your event make all year.
Listen, I'm not saying that everyone who spends a ton of money or complains about their wedding is a bad person. Really I'm not. Sometimes I feel like my complaint is to the companies who want to charge you $60 a plate for a meal at a wedding, when the same meal served at a seminar would be $40, and the same meal served at their restaurant would be $19. And those Chiavari chairs that everyone is shown sitting in during the ceremony for bridal shows on tv - to rent them costs $10 - $15 a chair. That is $1000 - $1500 for chairs that folks will likely sit in for half an hour. Those chairs are getting so much per hour a company is going to look to outsource that job to overseas. Sometimes this process has me thinking I'm in the wrong business.
And that is why I'm so happy when I meet people who want to work with you. People who want to make sure that while they are easily getting all their bills paid, you aren't having to skip a bill to pay them. People who have clear websites and details so there are no questions or fine print. Folks who are in this not just to take advantage of all the barely 20 something's with a hand in daddy's wallet, but to help your average person have a wonderful and special day.
While this may have seemed like a rant to the "other people" it's really a thank you to all the good ones out there. May you all stay in business, and may you give me big discounts. :)
Seriously people. When did it become socially unacceptable to have a simple wedding? When did everyone decide they had to be a princess? When did we decide that we would just all go into debt to the bride could have "her day"? When did this become the norm? Heck, when did it become remotely acceptable to blow that much money and have that much waste for one fricking day? Not even a whole day. Most weddings last less than half of a day. In less than half of a day you are blowing through more money than many of the folks working your event make all year.
Listen, I'm not saying that everyone who spends a ton of money or complains about their wedding is a bad person. Really I'm not. Sometimes I feel like my complaint is to the companies who want to charge you $60 a plate for a meal at a wedding, when the same meal served at a seminar would be $40, and the same meal served at their restaurant would be $19. And those Chiavari chairs that everyone is shown sitting in during the ceremony for bridal shows on tv - to rent them costs $10 - $15 a chair. That is $1000 - $1500 for chairs that folks will likely sit in for half an hour. Those chairs are getting so much per hour a company is going to look to outsource that job to overseas. Sometimes this process has me thinking I'm in the wrong business.
And that is why I'm so happy when I meet people who want to work with you. People who want to make sure that while they are easily getting all their bills paid, you aren't having to skip a bill to pay them. People who have clear websites and details so there are no questions or fine print. Folks who are in this not just to take advantage of all the barely 20 something's with a hand in daddy's wallet, but to help your average person have a wonderful and special day.
While this may have seemed like a rant to the "other people" it's really a thank you to all the good ones out there. May you all stay in business, and may you give me big discounts. :)
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Surprise! It's wedding week!
Last week we made the decision to really get some things done towards the wedding this week and next. We figured one thing here, one thing there. Instead it has become "Wedding Week".
Monday - Email, email, email! It was all about sending out email to get updated with all of our contacts. We have a few contracts pending so looking forward to getting those resolved.
Tuesday -While not officially wedding related, we had an event at the Phoenix Mercury where we got to pick up our season tickets. While there we did chat about several wedding related events.
Wednesday - Met with the suggested "rentals" company for our reception space.
Thursday - Going to our monthly wedding show put on by the The Big Picture, from whom we won the free engagement session, and where our florist will be hanging out as well!
Friday - Meeting with Pastor Barb for our very first Holy Union counseling session.
Saturday - I have to work. Doesn't sound wedding related? Oh yes. That overtime $ is going right for wedding stuff!
Sunday - Two, count them, TWO Wedding shows including one that is hosted by the first wedding cake place that Kandi fell in love with - Bamboo Bakery. Looking forward to those cake tastings!
Monday - Having our second meeting with our potential caterer!
It's amazing how many things we know right now. It's also surprising how often I question some of the decisions. For example, we said fairly early on that we weren't going to do a bridal party. We figured we'd have a nice VIP section of friends and family with special things to do during and around the ceremony and all would be good. No need for obnoxious outfits. No needing to decide who's side each person would be on when we've had the same friends for 10 years. Nope - we know we aren't going to do it.
And then...I see pictures like this and I just really, really, really want to have fun pictures like this.
Ok, I don't need pictures EXACTLY like that, lets be honest the flipping off the camera thing is much more in Kandi's territory, but it's so fun! I want fun group pictures. And matching outfits. Or at least vaguely similar outfits. Sort of. Maybe. I don't know.
It's not as easy as I thought. And the more I look at some of the cute bridesmaid pictures on Off-Beat Bride, one of my favorite web haunts, the more I start to question that decision.
So many questions so little time. If anyone was counting, which The Knot has been doing ever since I registered there, it's just 155 days until the wedding. Yikes!
Let the wedding madness continue!
Monday - Email, email, email! It was all about sending out email to get updated with all of our contacts. We have a few contracts pending so looking forward to getting those resolved.
Tuesday -While not officially wedding related, we had an event at the Phoenix Mercury where we got to pick up our season tickets. While there we did chat about several wedding related events.
Wednesday - Met with the suggested "rentals" company for our reception space.
Thursday - Going to our monthly wedding show put on by the The Big Picture, from whom we won the free engagement session, and where our florist will be hanging out as well!
Friday - Meeting with Pastor Barb for our very first Holy Union counseling session.
Saturday - I have to work. Doesn't sound wedding related? Oh yes. That overtime $ is going right for wedding stuff!
Sunday - Two, count them, TWO Wedding shows including one that is hosted by the first wedding cake place that Kandi fell in love with - Bamboo Bakery. Looking forward to those cake tastings!
Monday - Having our second meeting with our potential caterer!
It's amazing how many things we know right now. It's also surprising how often I question some of the decisions. For example, we said fairly early on that we weren't going to do a bridal party. We figured we'd have a nice VIP section of friends and family with special things to do during and around the ceremony and all would be good. No need for obnoxious outfits. No needing to decide who's side each person would be on when we've had the same friends for 10 years. Nope - we know we aren't going to do it.
And then...I see pictures like this and I just really, really, really want to have fun pictures like this.
Ok, I don't need pictures EXACTLY like that, lets be honest the flipping off the camera thing is much more in Kandi's territory, but it's so fun! I want fun group pictures. And matching outfits. Or at least vaguely similar outfits. Sort of. Maybe. I don't know.
It's not as easy as I thought. And the more I look at some of the cute bridesmaid pictures on Off-Beat Bride, one of my favorite web haunts, the more I start to question that decision.
So many questions so little time. If anyone was counting, which The Knot has been doing ever since I registered there, it's just 155 days until the wedding. Yikes!
Let the wedding madness continue!
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